Mamma May Have
by AdulterousWhore
Summary: 10 weeks of pure bliss are brought to a sudden stop when Meredith realizes she may be pregnant. Set 10 weeks post S4 final. MerDer but includes all main characters.
1. Chapter 1

Meredith Grey slammed her back against the cold and uncomfortable surface of a gurney, pushing her knees up to face the ceiling and throwing her arms above her head.

"What's got you?" Cristina said, raising an eyebrow.

"This might be the first time I've sat down in the past 24 hours ... I feel like a freakin' intern again!"

Cristina scoffed at her best friend. "At least you haven't been stuck down here writing up post op after post op ... I have no sympathy whatsoever." Meredith rolled her eyes. True enough, she would much rather be in the OR cutting rather than writing post op notes ... but it still didn't make her feel better. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had such a busy night on call ... then she just couldn't refuse the open heart surgery Hahn had offered her to scrub in on just as her shift had ended at 7 that morning. It was now approaching noon and Meredith was exhausted.

"Why does it not surprise me you have no sympathy? Where is everyone anyway?"

"Izzie's in the clinic, it's Alex's' day off, George is scrubbed in with your McDreamy boyfriend and I am here writing post op notes and listening to you whine. Did I miss anyone out?" Meredith frowned at her friend but shook her head all the same. McDreamy boyfriend. The term still made her laugh even years after Cristina had branded it him. She sighed a closed her eyes, thinking of said boyfriend and how happy she was again. 10 glorious weeks after standing in a field of candles, watching him return to her after breaking up with Rose, and she was still in bliss. She felt a silly smile spread across her face despite herself. She still had the intimacy issues, she still had the abandonment issues, she still had the mommy and the daddy issues and she was still scared as hell to do the life time thing ... but strangely enough Derek made it no way near as scary as it had been without him. 10 weeks of flirting in the elevators, 10 weeks of stealing kisses in the on call rooms, 10 weeks of stealing much more then kisses in on call rooms ... 10 weeks of this, she thought. Wait. That can't be right ... 10 weeks ... she shot bolt upright suddenly, making Cristina jump so hard she dragged the pen across her post op notes.

"Jesus Meredith! What the hell was that? Look at this! Oh man ... now I'm gonna have to start over! Thanks!" But Meredith wasn't listening. 10 weeks ... 10 weeks could NOT be right. She felt her breathing get heavier and came over all hot. "What is wrong with you?" Cristina caught her attention; frown on her face as to what Meredith was thinking about.

"I ... I ... I ..." She spluttered.

"I? I? I? Spit it out!" Cristina demanded.

"I'm late!" Meredith watched as her friends face dropped.

"For what?"

"I ... I ..." Meredith locked her eyes onto Cristina's. "I have to go!" She jumped off the gurney, ignoring her person's protests and ran quickly up the empty corridor. She was freaking out, there was no other way to put it ... hyperventilating and moving quickly, ignoring everything and everyone she walked past until she pushed open a supply closet and slumped herself against the wall. She could NOT be pregnant ... how late am I? She wondered, counting the weeks in her head. 4 weeks ... she was 4 weeks late ... fear ran her veins cold as she started frantically rambling to herself.

"Holy crap ... what am I gonna do? ... Cannot be pregnant ... I mean ... it's just not possible! ... Okay it _is_ possible ... but ... oh crap ..." Words tumbled out of her mouth faster then she could think and she angrily kicked a metal bucket to the opposite side of tiny room she was attempting to pace in. "Always been careful ... weren't we? ... Oh I can't remember! ... Been at it every freakin' day for 10 weeks ... why on earth did I not see this? 4 weeks! 4 weeks with nothing and I don't notice! My god I'm pathetic!" In the midst of talking to herself, Meredith barely noticed the door open and George walk in.

"Meredith?"

She took no notice, carrying on her rant but in small whispers. "... It's all his fault ... should have more control ... and me ... It's my fault ... cannot believe I'm 4 weeks late ..."

"Mere? You okay? Mere? MEREDITH?!" He shouted, snapping her out of her trance.

"Oh. George."

"Are you okay?"

"I ... errrrm ... I'm ..." Should she just tell him? Meredith looked at George hopelessly. "I'm fine, George." She sighed.

"Really fine ... or Meredith fine ... because ... the two are very very different things ..."

"I'm ... I'm ..." She was at a loss for words. "I'm FREAKING OUT!" George jumped back slightly as she started shouting. "I mean ... SERIOUSLY?! SERIOUSLY?!"

"S-seriously ... what?"

"Just when things we're PERFECT with us ... this has to happen! What if it ruins everything George? And you know what's REALLY terrifying is that I don't seem to be freaking out as much as I should be freaking out, you know?" George watched as Meredith began pacing again, very confused as to what had gotten her so upset. "4 weeks! 4 weeks late and I don't even NOTICE!" She'd said it before she could stop herself. Shooting a look at George and watching his eyes pop out of his head in shock, Meredith sighed heavily; sitting down on the bucket she had kicked over earlier and waited for George's reaction.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"

"Say it louder George! I don't think the morgue heard you!!" she protested, jumping up and smacking his arm with all the force she could muster, receiving another loud "OUCH! MEREDITH!"

"You're pregnant? Seriously?" He whispered frantically.

"I ... I don't no ... exactly ... I know I'm 4 weeks late ... which means I could possibly be 8 weeks pregnant ... and if I'm 8 weeks pregnant it means I'm 2 months pregnant ... and if I'm 2 months pregnant it means I only have 7 months before I have to give birth ... and ... and have a baby ... and ... and 7 months is not long at all George ..." She shook her head slowly at George, her eyes wide with fear, unblinking. "This ... this is bad ... George ... very bad ... very bad ..."

**Hey guys thanks for reading ... reviews make me happy! :) **

**I don't own anything ... boohoo!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for all the reviews!! Really glad you like the story! Hope you like this next chapter too!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Wooo! Only like a week then we'll have season 5 with us!**

Derek Shepard was a lucky man. He knew that, he didn't need to be told. He was a world renowned neurosurgeon, he had an amazing piece of land where he was planning to build an amazing new house, he had wonderful people in his life, he had patched things up with his best friend and most importantly, he was in love. He was in love and he was happy ... finally. He strolled through the hospital at his leisure, surgery had gone very well and he had more or less finished for the morning. Her voice hit his ears like music but for one moment, he couldn't figure out where she was; where it was coming from, until he noticed the supply closet door slightly ajar.

"This ... this is bad George ... very bad ... very bad ..." He heard Meredith say.

"But ... why? I don't understand Mere, I mean ... okay you didn't mean for it to happen ... but ... it has."

"I can't do this ... George I just ... we just can't!" Derek felt anger and pain rip through his body. So ... Meredith was cheating? Cheating on him with George? Suddenly he felt the need to scream, to shout and smack his fists against things-but he didn't, instead he carried on listening to his girlfriend talk secretively in a supply closet.

"Well I don't see why not ..."

"You don't see why not?!" She whispered fiercely. "Do you know what this could do to me and Derek?! To ... to our careers?!" That was an odd thing to say, he frowned. "I'm not ready for this ... I can't tell Derek ..."

"You have too!" George urged. "You know you can't keep this a secret, you can't ask me to keep this a secret!"

"Fight club George!! What happens in the closet STAYS in the closet ... RIGHT!" Her voice sounded pleading but forceful; the bossiness in her that he, Derek, was crazy about.

George sighed. "Right. But ... you have to tell Shepard ... he'll find out sooner or later and frankly the more you put it off the more pissed off he'll be when you finally do decide to tell him." Derek had heard enough. He'd save himself the pain of hearing Meredith leave him once more and he suddenly yanked the door open so hard it very nearly came from its hinges.

"Derek!" Meredith squeaked, looking to George for support, who stood staring at Derek. "How ... how much ... what did you ... hear?" Meredith managed to croak out, clearing her throat many times mid sentence.

"Enough." Derek replied, icily.

"I should go ... I'll just ... yeah" George muttered, sliding past Derek, who felt pure fury at the new resident's presence.

"Are ... do ... What do you think?"

"I think ... I think I cannot believe you would do this to me ... I didn't think you'd ever hurt me."

"I ... I thought ... I thought you'd be ... happy ... scared ... but happy ... you're not ... I thought ..." Tears came to the brim of Meredith's eyes. Yes, a baby would be terrifying, but with Derek there with her she had guessed she'd be able to do it.

"Happy? YOU THOUGHT I'D BE HAPPY?! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!" Derek's voice filled the hallway he was standing just outside of, causing the hospital staff to stare. Meredith stood up, letting the tears fall.

"I thought this was what you wanted! We both wanted it, Derek! I know ... It's ... slightly premature ... but ... but we said ... we said we wanted the life! And ... and you know I haven't even taken a test yet so I might not be!"

Derek frowned ... this was a very weird argument for her to make. "Might not be what?"

"PREGNANT!" She screamed, causing him to double take slightly.

"Pr- you ... you're ..." He didn't dare finish the sentence.

"Pregnant. Yes. Maybe. I don't ... I don't know for sure ... I haven't peed on a freakin' stick yet. What did you think I was going on about?"

Derek opened his mouth in attempt to salvage some of his shouting match with her, but she had simply taken his breath away. She was pregnant, possibly. They were maybe going to have a baby. The thought made his veins explode with excitement and love and he couldn't resist the smile that spread from ear to ear. Of course she wasn't cheating on him, the thought was just ridiculous. "I just ... I thought you ... might have been ... with George ..." He cleared his throat and looked away from her in shame when suddenly her giggle rippled through the air. He looked up, astonished she was laughing. "You're not mad?"

Meredith didn't think she'd ever heard anything so funny in her life. She loved George, she really did, she'd been with George ... but trade in Derek Shepard for George? It just made laugh even more. "Oh baby! How sweet are you? George?" And once more she burst into a fit of giggles. Derek too started to laugh, taking Meredith in his arms and squeezing her with as much mite as possible. "Derek you're cutting off my air supply." Meredith croaked, but smiled all the same. It was only then she realised they were more or less in the middle one of the most crowded corridors in the entire hospital and she'd just shouted she was pregnant. She looked around, wide eyed, laughing nervously at the looks and smirks she was receiving, taking Derek's hand casually, they hurried down the corridor together.

They were laughing when he pushed her into an empty exam room, kissing her lips passionately. "Now ... on that bed Dr Grey ... we need to see if you're really pregnant." He winked at Meredith, who giggled and propped herself up on the bed, watching Derek contently as he prepared to take some blood from her.

"I like this way ... It's way more dignified then peeing on a stick ..." She bit her lip and smiled at her boyfriend, who smiled back. She was so relieved he was happy about it ... she was scared. Very scared and she still thought the idea of a baby right now was a bad one, but even so, she couldn't help but smile.

"Ready?" He asked, holding the needle in his hand. Meredith nodded and held out her arm. Shivers ran through her spine as his finger tips stroked the soft skin on her arm. She closed her eyes tightly and winced in pain when she felt the needle push through her vein.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!" She whispered. "I hate needles!" She whined.

Derek laughed slightly. "You're a doctor how can you hate needles?"

"I never said I hate giving needles ... taking them isn't exactly a walk in central freakin park." Derek laughed at her more.

"Stop whining ... see? All done now!" Meredith frowned, rubbing her arm. "You'd better take them down to labs ..."

"Why me?!"

"Because ... you're a resident ... you still do that stuff even if you do have interns ... I'm an attending ... do you know how weird it would look if I took some blood down there?" Meredith raised her eyebrows, taking the blood from Derek's hand and jumping down off the bed.

"God the size of your ego is ridiculous ... I blame myself!" She said as she walked out the door, smiling when she heard Derek answer "I blame you too!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, guys! I'm so happy you like this fic! Really hope you enjoy this next bit too :)**

**Discalimer: You guessed it, i still don't own anything hehe**

Just under an hour later Meredith stood impatiently tapping her fingers on the wood surface of the labs reception. "Hey Carl!" She shouted, finally getting too sick of waiting. A few moments later he swaggered up to where Meredith was standing.

"You shouted?" He grinned. Meredith liked him but he could be so arrogant at the best of times.

"You got the labs I bought you earlier? I really need them ... like ... now. Right now." Meredith pleaded. He smirked, sucking on his teeth but at the same time slowly pulling a sheet of paper from the desk he stood at. Meredith made to snatch it when he whipped it from her reach.

"Ehem! Magic word!" Meredith cut him a murderous look and his smiled vanished, obviously guessing she was in no mood to be messed with, he handed her the paper and walked back out of sight.

Meredith was so nervous about looking at the results; Derek had been pulled into an emergency craniotomy so he couldn't be with her. She walked quickly around the hospital, trying desperately to find George so he could look at them for her. She knew she feel indifferent if she found she really was pregnant ... she wasn't ready ... Derek knew that, but all the same, now she'd had the idea planted in her mind she knew without a shadow of a doubt she'd be devastated if it turned out she wasn't pregnant after all. "Iz, have you seen George?" She practically ran into the clinic and interrupted Izzie who was examining a small boy's arm, which was clearly broken. Izzie continued her exam whilst talking to Meredith, which, Meredith noticed, seemed to aggravate the boy's mother extremely.

"Got pulled into a craniotomy with Derek I think ... why?"

Meredith sighed and held out the lab results. "Can you read these for me?"

Izzie laughed and gave Meredith a funny look, before saying "Okay James, we'll get you down to x-ray now, just to be sure that it is broken ..." Izzie nodded over at one of her interns who sighed and nodded, leaving Izzie free to talk to Meredith properly. "Why do you want me to read labs for you?" She frowned, taking them from Meredith.

"Because I ... I just ..." She sighed. "Just tell me what they say Iz ... please?" Izzie threw an inquisitive look at her friend but read them all the same.

"Looks pretty normal to me ..."

"Normal ... what do you mean ... normal?"

"I mean ... normal! Normal EKG ... normal estrogen levels for her pregnancy ... Normal." Meredith stared back at Izzie, feeling, as she knew she would, indifferent. It was odd, she felt like hearing it from Izzie made it official ... she had a person ... she had a person inside of her body, growing and relying on her, depending on her to be good for just a few months until that person was ready to come into the world and call her mommy. And call Derek daddy. "Meredith? Whose are these anyway?"

Meredith looked at Izzie ... she'd find out sooner or later, she reasoned ... "Mine, Iz ... they're mine."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks soo much for the reviews, keep them coming I'm so glad you like the fic and where it's going!! Really hope you like this next chapter too! :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything! :)**

Meredith rubbed her tired eyes, leaning against the nurse's station. Izzie's over excitement could sure be exhausting. "Where'd you run off to earlier?" Cristina asked, slamming down the load of post op notes she appeared to have finally finished. "I thought you'd be home now you've been here like 30 hours." Meredith nodded slightly, not looking at her best friend, but keeping her eyes fixed on a yellow pencil resting in an old coffee mug which read "world's greatest nurse" on. "Meredith?"

"I'm pregnant." She said, not moving her gaze from the pencil. Silence met her statement.

"Does ... does Derek know?" Cristina asked quietly, after a few seconds.

"Yeah ... well ... yeah he knew I thought I was ... he did a blood test and then got pulled into surgery ... he doesn't know I am for definite ..." Meredith replied, finally taking her eyes away from the pencil.

Cristina nodded slowly. "What ... what are you gonna do?" A look of genuine concern on her face.

"There isn't much I can do ... I can't get rid of it ..." Meredith said, forgetting herself momentarily. "Oh ... I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that I just ... I just ..."

"I know ..." Silence once again fell on the pair, and Meredith went to back to stare at the pencil. She felt Cristina's hand on her shoulder. "Just so you know ... I'm not babysitting."

"Please, like I'd trust you with a child." Meredith said, smiling, which earned a snort from Cristina as she wandered off, most likely to find a good surgery. Just then she noticed Lexie come hurrying over to her.

"Hey. You okay?" She didn't wait for an answer; Meredith noticed she seemed very stressed. "I need help! The pit is completely over run and I'm all alone down there! Are you doing anything now?" Lexie asked, an almost hysterical pleading in her voice.

"Nope, I'll come and help you." Meredith smiled weakly, ignoring the urge she felt to curl up and sleep.

"Oh my god, thank you! Thank you so so much!" Meredith giggled as Lexie's eyes lit up and she grabbed Meredith's hand, dragging her down into the pit, which was, as she had promised, completely over loaded. Lexie ran off to an elderly man Meredith could only assume she had abandoned in her attempt to find help. She sighed, wandering over to a young woman who was holding a tea towel to the back of her head, trying as much as she could to calm the baby in her arms which was howling to its heart's content.

"Hi there, I'm Dr Grey ..." Meredith smiled at the woman, picking up her chart. "Okay Mrs McAddams, can I just take a look at your head?" Meredith helped her slowly remove the towel to reveal a deep cut which was oozing with blood. "Okay ... can you tell me how this happened?" She was trying her hardest to stay smiling but the cries of the baby showed no sign of subsiding and Meredith was finding herself having to more or less shout.

"Tripped over my son's damn toy car, didn't I? Fell backwards and my head met the glass coffee table." Meredith suddenly felt very sorry for the woman, who was smiling sadly, rocking her baby who had finally started to calm.

"Okay well I'm just going to check the wound for glass then we'll get you stitched up." Meredith gathered up her kit and gloves, wondering what time it was now and what on earth she could talk to this woman about. "Do ... do you have many children Mrs McAddams?"

"You can call me Sarah ..." She smiled. "I have four ... 3 boys and a little girl. They're around here ... somewhere ..." She made to look around, sighing from exasperation.

"Wow ... are they all small? That can't be easy ..."

"Cory, he's 7, James is 5, Mia is 2 and this beautiful baby boy ..." The baby was sound asleep now, and Sarah rocked him gently, smiling with such love she looked as though she may burst. "... is Michael and he's 8 weeks old ..." Meredith stayed silent, lost in her own thoughts. She was terrified of just one child ... but ... four? She was amazed, in complete awe of Sarah. "It's hard. A lot of the time ... It's just ... a lot of the time I can't cope ... my husband, he's away a lot ... but ... but I guess it's the life I have. Do you have any children Dr Grey?" Meredith froze. No she didn't have any children at this current moment in time ... but she was guessing in about 7 months time she would. The fact was becoming more real every second she spent with Sarah, who was a pretty girl ... a pretty girl who looked exhausted, who looked over run, who looked like she would snap any day now, who was in the hospital because of something her child had left out ... the more Meredith thought about it, the more she could imagine herself in Sarah's shoes in around a year's time.

"No." She finally said, but she gave her patient a smile, and went to say "but I am pregnant ..." but was cut off by Sarah's advice.

"I suppose you don't have time ... being a doctor and all ... It's a busy job, right? You're a very beautiful woman Dr Grey ... you're young ... don't go having children before you have too! You should ... embrace life while you can! You should ... go out and ... and get guys and just ... just live. Live for you." Meredith was shocked, Sarah sounded as though she was telling Meredith to do what she wished she could.

"Well ... I don't know about the guys ... my boyfriend wouldn't be too pleased." Meredith managed to smile, trying with all her mite to forget the advice Sarah had given her.

"Oh ... you have a boyfriend?"

"I do." This time, Meredith found herself smiling easily, thinking of Derek and how in love she was with him. Just behind her, Meredith heard a small giggle, looking round she saw three small children poking their heads between the curtains which surrounded Sarah's bed.

"Cory! There you are! Don't you listen to a WORD I say?! I TOLD you to stay still! Listen to me! Stop poking your brother! Come here!" Sarah was shouting at her children, who continued to giggle and ignored her completely, then ran off again. Sarah sighed and wiggled off the bed, shouting after the kids.

"Sarah ... Sarah they'll be okay ... I need to stitch that cut up." Meredith tried to reason. Eventually Sarah let Meredith stitch her up after she had managed to rally the 3 children up and made them stand perfectly still by the bed. The boys fidgeted, Meredith noticed, nudging each other and giggling, the little girl, however, was watching Meredith in awe, never once taking her eyes off what she was doing and she giggled at everything Meredith said. The children's attention span lasted around 4 minutes and they were all off again, screaming and running around the pit, interrupting the other patients and causing their baby brother to start howling once more. Just when Meredith was about to scream at them for disrupting the hospital, Sarah burst into a fit of angry tears and jumped off the bed.

"I'm sorry, thank you, for stitching me up. I'll be fine now but I have to take them home." She placed her baby into his pram and gathered the rest of her children. Luckily Meredith had finished the sutures or she wouldn't have let Sarah go. The rest of the afternoon went by quickly, without anymore commotion and between them, herself and Lexie managed to clear the put almost completely.

"I am absolutely exhausted." Meredith finally announced when she entered the residents lounge. George and Izzie were the only other people in there. "Where's Cristina?"

"Pulled into surgery with Hahn ..." George said, looking at Meredith curiously.

"Bet that made her happy." Meredith replied, staring at Izzie, who looked like she would burst with excitement any moment. Meredith sighed. "It's okay Izzie, George knows." Almost immediately Izzie jumped up and clapped her hands together.

"George knows what?" George asked.

"That Meredith is pregnant!!" Izzie squealed, wrapping her arms around Meredith in a bear hug from behind.

"Oh! Oh! You took a test? Was Derek okay? He looked mad ..." Meredith giggled after pushing Izzie away from her.

"He was only mad because he thought I was having an affair ... with you!" This information earned a snort of laughter from Izzie and an eye popping look from George. "He's fine ... happy ... excited ..." Just then their pagers went off; Meredith groaned but was glad when she saw it wasn't her being paged.

"Trauma." Izzie stated, giving Meredith a quick hug then hurrying out of the room, George in hot pursuit. Meredith sighed in the empty room, taking her bag from her locker and letting her hair down from its pony tail. There was a slight knock at the door and Derek came in, freshly showered and dressed in his normal clothes, he looked shattered and ready to go home. Meredith gave him a quick smile but continued to change.

"Mer, why have you stayed here this long? You look exhausted." He came over to her, brushing her hair from her face.

"Lexie needed help in the pit ... and I should think I look exhausted, I've been here nearly 40 hours and I'm pregnant." She stopped as she said it, chancing a look over to Derek, who looked very surprised by the news, as though neither had suspected it at all.

"You're pregnant." He said, matter-of-factly, letting a wide grin spread across his face, he took Meredith into his arms and squeezed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into the crook. "You ... you're not freaking out?" He asked, kissing her lips softly.

"I'm not freaking out ..." She smiled, then added, "... yet." The giggled and gave him another kiss. "Can we please go home now? I need our bed. I need some sleep!" He smiled and nodded, taking her hand in his and leading her out of the hospital, and back home.


	5. Chapter 5

**The reviews you've all been giving are absolutely wonderful - i really appreciate it thank you so much! I hope you like this next chapter! :)**

Derek rolled over in bed, flinging his arm to cover Meredith on the other side only to find she wasn't there. He rubbed his tired eyes, it was still dark outside. 5:02AM, their alarm clock read; he groaned, knowing it would go off in half an hour anyway. He sat up and dragged himself out of bed when he heard Meredith groan from the bathroom. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked when he saw her slumped over the toilet, she looked up at him and brushed her hair from her face.

"Morning sickness." She said, simply. Derek sat down with her and let Meredith fall into his arms. It had been five busy weeks since they found out she was pregnant. Almost immediately Meredith had booked herself an appointment with the Neo-Natal department in the hospital where they had told her she was 7 weeks pregnant and that they would give her a scan when she hit 12 weeks. Naturally as Derek and Meredith had agreed to only tell their close friends about the pregnancy, the whole hospital knew. Meredith was beginning to feel very cranky with her friends, Izzie kept tabs on everything Meredith was eating and always made her take vitamins, Cristina seemed to forget Meredith was carrying a child and always offered her a drink of tequila which Meredith missed sorely, despite knowing even if she did attempt to drink it she'd hate the taste now anyway. George and Lexie constantly reminded her of all the cute little clothes and toys she would need to buy before the baby was born. Alex was just ... Alex so he didn't really bother Meredith all too much 

more then he usually did anyway. And then there was Derek, who was being his usual self except for the slight fact he would constantly talk to her stomach, which she usually found adorable but for some reason, over the past few days she found it plain annoying. "What time is it?" She croaked.

"Just after 5 ... you okay now?" He swept her hair off her face and kissed her forehead lightly.

"I'll be fine, Derek ... comes with the territory, right?"

"Right ... are you excited?"

"For what?" Meredith looked into his tired eyes, perfectly content in staying in his arms.

"The scan! It's at noon, remember?" He grinned at her and nuzzled into her neck, making her giggle.

"Right, scan ... of course I remember!" Meredith giggled again and kissed him; placing her hands on his face and feeling him pull her closer only to be interrupted by Izzie, who burst into the bathroom in her PJ's holding a glass of orange juice and a small pot of vitamins. Derek groaned along with Meredith and pulled himself off the bathroom floor, announcing he still had 9 minutes of sleep before he had to start cutting open people's heads for the day.

"Here!" Izzie smiled, pushing the glass into Meredith hand. "Drink up!"

"Izzie-" Meredith started.

"Drink! Here, take these." Meredith rolled her eyes and took the vitamins from Izzie's hand when George walked in holding a catalogue.

"Would you look how cute these iddy biddy baby things arreee?!" He said in a ridiculous voice. Izzie snatched the book off him and immediately melted into a big smile.

"Oh Mere you have to get this look! It's adorable!" She pushed the catalogue into Meredith's hands as she finally got off the bathroom floor. Meredith didn't bother looking at what Izzie and George had gotten excited over this time, and just walked past them into her bedroom and threw herself onto the bed next to Derek, throwing the catalogue on the floor.

"What have they seen this time?" Derek asked without looking.

"God knows." Meredith replied, snuggling up to him. They had 6 more minutes before their alarm would go off and they would have to get ready for work. Izzie came wondering after Meredith into her room, closely followed by George, then Lexie, and then Alex.

"What are we all doing in here?" Alex asked.

"Yes, what are you all doing in here?!" Meredith shouted back. Alex shrugged his shoulders and went downstairs.

"Do you want some oatmeal for breakfast, Mere?"

"NO!" She shouted at Izzie, who seemed to get the message to made to leave, attempting to usher George and Lexie out of the room too.

"Hey, Mere did you look at the rocking horse? How cute is it!" George ignored Izzie and pushed past her, grabbing the catalogue from the floor and placing it on her bed. Meredith sighed and snatched it up, glancing at the beautiful rocking horse in the picture.

"Yes George it's very nice."

"Ohmygod." Meredith looked up at George who was staring down at the catalogue in her hand from upside down. "A COWGIRL OUTFIT!"

"OUT! GET OUT!" Meredith finally snapped, throwing the heavy catalogue at George who ran from the room and slammed the door behind him. "We have got to get out of here, Derek."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean ... this house has turned into a freakin motel! I don't even know who lives here anymore." Meredith turned off the alarm clock, which had finally filled the bedroom with noise. She sat up rather suddenly.

"You feeling sick again?" Derek asked, concerned.

"No ..." Meredith was staring into thin air, a slight frown on her face; she jumped out of bed and started frantically searching for something.

"What are you doing?" Derek asked curiously.

"Looking for ... ahah!" Meredith came up from the inside of her wardrobe holding the blue prints to the house Derek had shown her almost 4 months before. "You left them here age ago." Derek took hold of them, rolling them out on the bed.

"What about them?" He asked, dare he really think she was about to say what he thought she was about to say?

"We have 6 months, Derek ... 6 months to build a house. It seems impossible but nothing's impossible, right? We can't do this ... we can't bring a baby into this house with all the people that come and that go and ... it's unhealthy! We need ... we need a house of our own!" Meredith concluded, after rambling for a short while.

"Okay Meredith ... this may feel a little cold." Smiled Kate, their gynaecologist, as she squeezed the cold clear jelly onto Meredith stomach. Meredith smiled and gripped onto Derek's hand, for some reason she was very nervous about the first scan ... what if they found something wrong? Obviously, being a doctor Meredith knew all the statistics and odds that their baby wouldn't be born perfectly normal, but at this moment in time she wasn't thinking like a doctor ... she was thinking like a mother to be. She tried to relax back onto the examination bed but found it difficult; Derek sensed her tension and kissed her forehead.

"Relax, Mere ... everything's gonna be fine." Kate smiled at Derek supportiveness and slowly turned the screen so Meredith could see what her doctor was doing.

"You should listen to him, Meredith ... everything looks perfectly fine. Can you see the baby? Right there." She tapped the screen lightly, where Meredith could see a tiny, yet fully formed foetus. It was right there ... and finally after 5 weeks of feeling like this whole thing was a dream and she could see her child, hers and Derek's baby. She was speechless, utterly speechless, which she guessed Derek was too as he hadn't said a word, but kept his hand wrapped tightly around hers. "I'll give you two a minute alone." Kate said, Meredith nodded slightly but kept her eyes on the screen, only hearing the smile in Kate's voice and then suddenly realising she and Derek were alone in the room.

"Wow." She heard Derek breathe.

"Yeah ... There ... there it is ..." Meredith said.

"He."

"What?"

"There he is." Derek grinned as Meredith giggled.

"How can you even tell?"

"I can't ... but I can just ... I can just guess we're having a boy ... plus I can't stand calling our child 'it' for the next 6 months ... so ... he." Meredith reasoned he was right about the 'it' part ... but a small part of her hoped Derek wouldn't get too attached to the idea of a baby boy, because she knew it would hurt him in some strange way if they ended up having a daughter. She knew he didn't really care, as long as the baby was healthy but still ... she had an odd feeling it would be her, Meredith, who would feel bad for him if they had a daughter. Meredith let her eyes fall back onto the monitor, fixed on the tiny foetus growing inside of her; it was a sight she knew would take her breath away for the rest of her life.

Just under 2 hours later Meredith was sitting crossed legged in the gallery of the OR writing up some post op notes she hadn't gotten round to. The OR was empty, as was the gallery which she was grateful for; the peace and quiet was like music to her ears. Every now and then she would steal a glance at the very first picture of their baby that was tucked inside the pocket of her scrubs. She was so lost in her own little world at her 5th look at the picture she didn't hear the door to the gallery open and Bailey walk in until she said; "It's amazing isn't it?"

She startled Meredith, who snapped her head round trying to stuff the picture back into her pocket, but stopped herself when she saw it was Bailey. "You scared me ..." Bailey sat down next to Meredith.

"Is that the first scan?" Bailey asked, as Meredith handed her mentor the picture, nodding. Bailey smiled.

"Just got it this morning ..."

"I was looking at Tuck's the other day ... cherish the time Meredith ... it soon goes ..." Bailey gave Meredith a sad smile and handed her the picture back. Silence fell on the pair and Meredith suddenly felt quite awkward. "Are you okay, Meredith?" Bailey looked concerned.

"Yeah! I'm ... I'm fine!" She gave a false smile, which she knew Bailey didn't buy and let it falter, sighing. "It's just ... it's just ... scary. And new ... and weird ... and different ... God it's so many things ..." Meredith stared down at the pen in her hand, pulling the lid on and off time after time again. Bailey didn't say anything, sensing Meredith hadn't finished what she wanted to say. "It's like ... like I knew this would happen ... one day ... I knew that me and Derek would go the whole 9 yards or whatever ... do the marriage, house and babies thing ... I guess it's just weird because I didn't realise 'one day' would come so soon ... and it probably doesn't help we've done the whole hog in a strange order." Meredith giggled slightly. "I'm glad ... I am glad ... that I'm pregnant ... I just ... I just didn't expect it ... it hasn't sunk in yet ... and I need it ... I need it too soon because It doesn't feel real ... and even after today ... It kind of does but it kind of doesn't ... oh god I'm rambling ..." Meredith let her head fall into her hands and brushed her hands away from her face, and oddly enough felt tears prick her eyes ...

"Meredith ... have you told Derek you feel like this?" Bailey asked.

"Nope ..." Meredith shrugged.

"I know It feels too soon ... but I think even if you were ... married to Derek and lived in your big house and had this perfect life ... even then I think ... I know, you wouldn't feel ready ... you wouldn't feel like it was real. I know because I didn't ... when I found out I was pregnant it didn't feel real either ... It never does, for new mothers. You can do this Meredith ... I know it's scary and I know it's ... weird ..." She made a play on Meredith's word, which made her giggle. "... but trust me, trust me when I tell you when you hold that child in your arms for the first time ... you will know, you will know exactly what to do and how to do it. After all no one knows a child better than its mother." Bailey smiled at Meredith for a last time and left the gallery; leaving Meredith very grateful for the advice her boss had just given her ... but still very unsure ... maybe she should just talk to Derek? She sighed once more and glanced back down at the picture, sweeping her thumb across the foetus.

"You think we can do this baby?" She said, looking down at her stomach. "Yeah ... I hope so too." She added, placing the picture back into her pocket and sliding the picture back into the pocket of her scrubs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I'm so so soo sorry it's taken me a while to get this chapter up! I've had suuch a busy week! It's been hard finding the time! Anyway, I really hope you like the chapter! Thanks again for all the reviews x**

"Oh It's so cute!" Izzie exclaimed, admiring the scan picture. Meredith couldn't help but smile ... she felt proud. That was her baby ...

They were sitting in the cafeteria with lunch, waiting to see if any of their friends would join them.

"Thanks ..." Meredith said, putting the picture back into her pocket carefully.

"How are you feeling anyway?"

"Okay ... I guess ... morning sickness is no picnic and I miss tequila more than ever, I kind of get nauseous whenever someone cooks chicken but otherwise ... I'm good!" Izzie laughed and smiled at her roommate. She had been pleasantly surprised when she found out Meredith was pregnant, and even more so when the 'freaking out' they were all waiting for didn't happen.

"Whose service you on today?" Meredith asked.

"Sloan's." Izzie sighed

"Ouch ... he being okay with you?"

"Yeah I guess ... he's better now I'm a resident." Meredith nodded, understanding what it could be like being on Mark Sloan's service. "Speak of the devil ..." Meredith looked over to see Mark walking towards them, he dropped his tray in between Meredith and Izzie, who frowned at him. "What are you doing?" Izzie asked.

"I'm having lunch with my resident." Izzie continued to frown at him, which he laughed at the turned to Meredith. "And, the woman carrying my future godson." He flashed a smile at Meredith, who dropped her fork and folded her arms, her face merging into an amused look.

"Future Godson?"

"That's right!"

"Why are you and Derek so set on this baby being a boy?!"

"Because! It's like ... like an addition to the Shepard-Sloan team!" He answered; slightly aware he was digging the whole deeper and deeper. Meredith raised her eyebrow, smirking only slightly.

"What are you gonna do if it's a girl?"

"Pummel every guy who looks at her! And it won't be a girl! Shep has a feeling." Mark concluded, causing Meredith to roll her eyes and carry on eating her food. "Look! Derek will you tell her you're having a boy?" Meredith looked up to see Derek sitting down on her left side and kissing her forehead.

"Hey." He smiled his McDreamy smile.

"Hello." She smiled back, giving in to the urge to kiss his lips. "Mark was just saying you have a feeling I'm having boy."

"I do, I do have a feeling." Meredith giggled and shook her head, deciding to just leave them to it.

"Right, I'm getting out of here before these two ..." He gestured towards Meredith, who had her hand on Derek's thigh, and Derek who had his arm draped around Meredith's chair, "... mount each other in the middle of this place. Dr Stevens? I believe we have a face to reconstruct." Izzie rolled her eyes and bade good bye to Meredith and Derek, following Mark out of the cafeteria.

"How are you today?" Derek asked. Meredith inhaled very slowly, thinking she might possibly shoot the next person to ask her how she was feeling. Ah, she thought, the joys of being pregnant.

"I'm fine ... really. How are you?" She said, tilting her head slightly. He mirrored her action.

"I'm fine." And for a few moments they just looked at each other, taking in each other's features, as though it was the last chance they would get. Derek's pager interrupted them. He sighed, "trauma."

"Yeah I'd better get down to the pit ..." They stood up in unison and he cupped her face with his hands, kissing her lips tenderly. "See you later." She said smiling.

"You will." He kissed her again, taking more time when his pager went off for a second time.

"Go!" Meredith said, nudging him slightly. "Go cut people's brains open." He laughed.

"Love you." He caught her off guard as he said it. They never said that. Well ... they did ... but only when it really needed to be said. Meredith opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She didn't really know what to say ... obviously she needed to say it back ... but did the fact he'd said it at all need addressing? She smiled at him.

"I love you too." And with that, they walked off to different parts of hospital.

--

Meredith wondered into the pit soon after to find it was surprisingly quiet. She walked over to one of the nurses. "Anything for me?" She asked, thanking them when they handed her the chart of a young man who had been in a car accident. "Hey ... James Carter?" He nodded as she pulled on her gloves. "You were in a car accident ... Can you tell me what happened?" She smiled at him. He was very attractive, with dark hair and very dark eyes. He smiled back at her, which strangely made Meredith feel more relaxed, it was obvious he had a good heart, unlike some of the people they had in the ER at times.

"Yeah ... I was just driving along and this little girl ran out in to the middle of the road to get a ball or something ... I had to swerve to miss her ... went straight into a street light ... hit my head on the door window when the air bag went off." He gestured towards the deep cut on his forehead. Meredith listened, careful to make sure there possibly wasn't more than a cut ... perhaps some internal bleeding? She thought not after he told her what happened and began to stitch him up. "Can I ... erm ... you know ... never mind." James stuttered slightly, looking down at his hands in embarrassment.

"No, go on ... what were you going to say?" Meredith asked.

"Well ... it's just ... I was on my way to my girlfriends ... and I was going to ask her to marry me ..." Meredith smiled at how vulnerable he looked. "And ... and now this has happened ... you don't think ... you don't think it's a sign, do you? A sign I shouldn't ask Mel to marry me?" Meredith looked at him, slightly stunned at what he had said. He certainly didn't seem like the type of person to question something like this ... he had said himself he was set on asking her. But, she reasoned, it was the type of thing she would do. She knew things like this would scare her into not doing them ... but oddly enough when it was someone else doubting themselves it seemed silly.

"Do you love her?" She asked simply, stopped what she was doing to look at him.

"Yes, more than anything." He answered firmly.

"Well there you go then, there's your answer. You ask her to marry you. Don't let a little girl and her football ruin it for you! You love her ... and ... and I'm sure she loves you so ... so there's nothing more to it!" Just as Meredith let the words fall from her mouth a young girl wearing a lot of pink ran into the ER, screaming.

"JAMIE?! JAMIE! OH MY GOD! Oh my god baby! Are you hurt?! What happened?! I got a call at the spa saying you'd been in a CAR ACCIDENT?! Is it serious?!" She asked, now talking to Meredith. The girl, was hysterical, holding tight onto James's hand. "I want you to give him the best care ever! Okay? No holding back! Money is NOT an issue I promise!" She squeezed James hard, who hugged back but winced in pain at the same time.

"James?" Meredith asked. "Sorry ... Mel? It is Mel isn't it?" I'm sorry could I just ..." Mel moved away from her boyfriend as Meredith moved closer towards him. "James can you just lift your shirt for me?" She asked, shocked, when he did to reveal a large purple bruise on his chest and stomach. "James why didn't you tell me you'd hit your chest?!" Meredith asked, quickly taking her stethoscope and placing it on his chest.

"I ... I didn't know I had! It was hurting but I thought ... I just thought ... well I'd been in an accident so I guessed I wasn't gonna be feeling all too well!" He said, a slight fear in his voice.

"Wh-what ... what is it? You look worried, is he gonna be okay?!" Mel said frantically.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to act like that, it looks like he's just broken some ribs but because of the size of his bruise I'm going to have to take James up to have an MRI scan ... just so that I can make sure he's not bleeding internally."

"Right ... and ... and what if he is? Bleeding internally?" Mel breathed.

"If ... if he is, bleeding internally ... then we're mostly probably going to have to perform surgery ..." Mel's hands shot up to her mouth in horror, so Meredith quickly added, "but if he might not be, it might just be broken or cracked ribs ... and if he is bleeding internally, if it's a small bleed it's likely the wound will heal on its own. I don't want you two to worry, okay? Because even if it is that you're bleeding internally ... the procedure will be one we've done before I promise." Meredith concluded, hoping beyond hope she'd made the pair feel slightly better. She smiled when Mel bent down and kissed James passionately. She left them alone to order the MRI and x-ray.

--

Later that day Meredith and Bailey were standing inside the tiny room which faced the MRI machine, waiting for the pictures of James Carter's insides. Meredith sighed heavily.

"I am so hungry." She laughed slightly, stretching her arms over her head.

"Get used to that!" Bailey laughed with her.

"I know ... I can't even tell you the amount I've started eating. It'll seriously just disgust you. And what I've been eating. The cravings are killing me!"

Bailey laughed at her resident, unusually thankful for the common ground they now had to share. "Get used to that too, Grey. I used to crave any sort of strawberries ... and anything with cheese in it."

Meredith glanced at Bailey, and then looked away, laughing at herself. "It's a good job I live with Izzie really ... I can't get enough of cupcakes covered in both chocolate and raspberry jam ... oh it's up." Meredith and Bailey switched their attention to the monitors, which revealed James to have a significant amount of internal bleeding. It wasn't a lost cause however, Meredith and Bailey had both seen much worse cases, there was any reason he shouldn't make a full recovery, nor was there anything to suggest that surgery wouldn't go smoothly; yet for some reason it broke Meredith's heart just thinking about having to tell him. Damn hormones, she thought.

"Book an OR Grey, we'll get him in before midnight ... the quicker he's in the quicker he'll get better." With that Bailey left the room, leaving Meredith in deep thought whilst letting her eyes lock on the monitor in front of her.

--

"You okay?" Derek asked, catching up with Meredith in the corridor.

"Yeah ... how was the trauma?"

"Oh okay, mostly cardio ... they just paged for a consult on her spine and head but she seems okay in that respect."

"Good ... you're following me." She stated, throwing a curious smirk at Derek.

"I am not ... I just ..."

"You are ... unless you've suddenly decided to do some good old normal boring residential work in the pit?" She giggled as they entered the ER.

"Okay, fine. But ... you're taking it easy right? You look kind of ... pale." He said as they walked up to James and Mel, who were in their own little world, talking and kissing.

"I'm fine, Derek." She lied. The truth was she did feel quite sick which was odd, since it was late afternoon and her morning sickness had subsided at around 6 that morning. "James. We got the results of your MRI in ..."

"Why are you here?" Mel asked Derek, who was standing just behind Meredith, in a frightened voice. "Oh god it's bad news isn't it? He needs two doctors now?" Meredith sighed.

"No, Mel I'm sorry he's here ... he's ... following me. But I'm sorry ... James you do have some internal bleeding. It's not bad, trust me it's not bad at all ... but it's not so minor that we can just leave it to heal. I've booked an OR and I'll have Dr Bailey, that's the surgeon, I'll have her come down and have a chat with you and talk you through the procedure okay?" James nodded slightly, but Mel stepped in.

"No ... no Meredith ... you ... why can't you do the surgery? Why do we have to have somebody else?"

"Yeah, you know you've been so good to me ... if you can I'd love for you to do this surgery ..." James said. Meredith froze momentarily. She had never been asked something like this before. In the end it was a good job Derek was there because he jumped in, sensing Meredith had lost her words. He placed his hand on the small of her back.

"Meredith will be in the OR while you're having your surgery ... Dr Bailey is the current surgeon on call, and a higher rank than Meredith ... so she'll be doing it ... but Meredith will as well ... It'll be ... It'll be like a shared job." Mel smiled at Derek, apparently re-assured.

"Thank you." Meredith whispered to him.

"You're welcome."

--

Later that day Meredith walked into the room James had been moved to while he waited to have his surgery.

"Hey! So it looks like we're all good to go, the OR's booked for 3 so I'm just gonna do a pre-op exam and then I'll take you down. Ok?" Meredith smiled.

"Yeah ... yeah that's ..." James seemed a little over-whelmed and frightened.

"You'll be fine, baby." Mel assured him, and then looked over at Meredith. "He will be fine, right?"

"He should be." Meredith nodded, plastering yet another smile on her face, praying she no longer looked pale because as the day was wearing on, the more nauseous she felt.

"So ... who was that really cute doctor? The one you said was ... following you?" Mel laughed at Meredith.

"Oh ... right, yeah I'm sorry about that ... he just ... thought that I looked pale ... keeps checking up on me."

"He's cute AND he looks after you? You should ask him out, he's obviously got it bad." Mel giggled.

"You reckon I should ask him out?" Meredith laughed at Mel, playing along to the situation Mel thought she and Derek were in.

"Hell yeah! Oh god, he's right outside! Go and ask him!" Mel giggled some more, stroking James's hair when Derek walked in the room.

"Everything okay?" He asked Meredith, who nodded. "Listen I'm all finished, do you want me to wait for you?"

"No that's okay you go home, I'll catch a ride with Izzie." Meredith seemed to forget they were in a patients room and let Derek kiss her lips.

"Okay, I'll see you later. Love you." Derek smiled, which caused Meredith to frown slightly. The second time he'd said it in one day ... instinct told her he'd done something he knew would piss her off ... or he wanted sex. It couldn't be the sex ... they'd had sex last night ... he's done something, she thought.

"Love you too ..." She said, curiously. She turned back to Mel and James, "I'm sorry ... he's ..." she looked back at the door, still frowning.

"How adorable was that?! Oh my god, did I get the wrong end of the stick or what?!" Mel laughed. "How long have you been together?"

"Erm ... like 4 years ... on and off ..." Meredith answered, slightly embarrassed, when suddenly the nauseous she had been feeling all day hit her like a wave. She quickly brought her hand up to her mouth and looked round the room, searching what had made her feel so sick. Mel was opening a roast chicken sandwich from her bag.

"I'm so hungry! I haven't eaten a thing since this morning!" She said lightly. Meredith nodded, trying to forget the feeling she had in the pit of her stomach. "Meredith are you okay? You've gone all ... green ..." She tried nodding once more but it didn't happen. Quickly she ran into the hall, exceptionally grateful for the room James was in right outside the nurses' station. She ran straight to the bin and let the tears all from her eyes as she was violently sick.

"Oh crap, are you okay?" She heard Cristina ask, and then felt her best friends hand on her back.

"Oh my god ... Dr Grey are you okay?" Mel asked from behind Meredith, in a worried voice.

"Yeah she'll be fine when you get the chicken away from her!" Cristina snapped.

"What?" Mel said, holding the sandwich in her hand.

"Away! Get the chicken away from the pregnant doctor!" Meredith felt Cristina lead her to a chair behind the large desk she had just thrown up next to.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry I didn't realise you were pregnant!" Mel said, following the doctors around to the other side of the desk, still holding the sandwich, which made Meredith heave. "Oh god! I'm sorry!" She threw the chicken sandwich away.

"It's fine." Meredith croaked.

"Here." Cristina handed her a bottle of water, which Meredith sipped gratefully. "I have a pre-op exam ..." She started, getting up from the chair.

"Sit down, I'll do the exam. You can't go in surgery if you're still sick." Cristina said, rubbing her hand briefly across Meredith's shoulder.

--

Just under half an hour later Meredith was standing in the OR with Bailey at her side; Cristina had just bought James down from pre-op.

"Guess what, Dr Grey?" James looked up towards her, though he had fear in his eyes, he looked genuinely happy. "I asked Mel to marry me." He grinned, as though he couldn't quite believe his luck.

"That's great James! Congratulations." Meredith smiled down at him, then looked up to see the anaesthetist nod at her and Bailey. "Okay James we're gonna put you under now. See you in a while okay? Just count backwards from 10 for me." Meredith said, keeping her voice calm and steady as she listened to James' shaky voice count down from ten then fade into silence.

"Okay people ..." Bailey started, doing her usual pre-op ritual, standing at the side of the table and inhaling. "Scalpel." She said, holding her hand out. "You know ... Derek mentioned James asked for you to do this surgery?" Bailey said to Meredith, without looking up but still hadn't started the surgery.

"Yeah ... yeah he asked but ..." Meredith started, unsure of what to say.

"Dr Grey ..." Bailey said, now looking at Meredith. She turned the scalpel in her hand so the handle faced her resident.

"Wh-what ..."

"Take the scalpel." Meredith dared breathe. Bailey thought she was ready to go completely solo? For the first time? She slowly took the scalpel from her mentors hand and dragged it across the patients abdomen ...

--

"Guess what!" Meredith said as she ran into her kitchen later that night. She had a large smile on her face and seemed very excited, which Derek was glad to see. She's in a good mood, he thought, that's a very good sign.

"What?" He said after he kissed her.

"I flew solo!" She squealed, kissing Derek again, wrapping her arms around his neck, ignoring the laughs from Izzie in the background.

"You flew solo ... I cooked dinner." Derek said, smiling. Meredith faltered slightly, only just noticing the table made up of candles, laid out nicely.

"And that's my cue for an early night!" Izzie giggled, and left the kitchen for bed.

Meredith sat down slowly, extremely curious as to what on earth Derek had done. She had definitely decided he'd done something wrong. "So James is gonna be okay?" Derek asked, going about the kitchen as if nothing was out of the ordinary. True enough, he was the cook of the couple but Meredith could tell something was off.

"Yeah ... he'll be fine ... he asked his girlfriend to marry him ..." She added casually, which made Derek drop the glass in his hand. "What is wrong with you today?!" She finally demanded.

"What? Nothing! Nothing's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong? Derek you've been breathing down my neck the entire day ... and told me you love me ... twice!"

"What's wrong with me telling you I love you?! I do! And ... and I was just ... you didn't look very well! I was checking up! You're pregnant!" He said in a defensive way, to which Meredith raised her eyebrow, sitting back in her chair, folding her arms determined to get the truth out.

"Yes Derek I know I'm pregnant! And I know you love me ... I love you too but ... we don't say that! Not ... not usually anyway! So, I have been trying all day to figure out what's made you act so ... weird ... and I came down to two scenarios ... one, you've done something you know will piss me off ... or two, you want sex. And then I thought, It CAN'T be the sex thing, because ... we had sex last night and ... you know me! And anyone who knows me knows it really is not hard to get my pants off. So ... what have you done to piss me off?!" Derek sighed at Meredith's outburst.

"Okay ... now ... don't freak out ..."

"... Derek!"

"My mom's coming." He said suddenly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! This is my next chapter, sorry if it's not all that ... i tried to keep it light and happy ... but i sort of needed a bridge over to the next chapter. Hope you like! Can't wait for 503! It's gonna be great!! :)**

**Don't own it, never have, never will. Reviews make me happy!**

"My mom's coming." ... the words swam round Meredith's head for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. With her arms thrown above her head, she tossed and turned in her bed slightly. Feeling cold because Derek had his back to her, unlike usual, where his arms would be wrapped tightly around her body. Meredith turned to face the room, curling her legs into her body to warm her. She knew she'd over reacted, gone crazy, freaked out at the news Derek had told her. Her child's future grandmother ... or ... her future mother in-law, sort of ... her boyfriend's mother ... was coming to Seattle. The woman who gave birth to the man she had to call her boss, boyfriend and child's father wanted to meet her. Finally, after nearly 4 years of a yo-yo relationship ... it finally felt real. The very idea that Derek's mother wanted to meet Meredith terrified her more than anything life could throw at her at this moment in time. As soon as the words had left his mouth, she had felt her head go light ... so there it was. She really was in this, in the relationship or whatever ... forever ... meeting the boyfriends parents ... to Meredith it seemed an even bigger leap then having the baby. She finally drifted to an uneasy sleep at around 2Am, dreaming of herself in the OR, performing surgery after surgery whilst a baby was crying. Derek kept running in and out in a builder's hat showing her blue prints for a castle and an elderly lady, who Meredith could only assume was supposed to be Derek's mother, was knitting tea cosies in the corner on a rocking chair, shouting at her because she couldn't cook a simple thanksgiving dinner.

"Meredith ..." She heard Derek say. Where was his voice coming from? He wasn't in the OR anymore ... "Mere ..." Her eyes shot open. She was in her bed, Derek lying next to her; it was only just getting light outside. "It's 5." Derek grunted.

"Hmm ... just 5 more minutes, Derek." She said, burying her face into pillow, hoping she could get more sleep when once again the morning sickness hit her. She threw the duvet off herself and ran to the bathroom, only slightly aware that Derek was in hot pursuit.

"Deep breaths ... that's it ..." He said in an attempt to comfort her. She got up slowly, going back to the bedroom where she sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at her feet.

"I'm sorry ..." She sighed, not looking up at Derek.

"Me too ... I shouldn't have blurted it out ..." He replied, sitting down next to her.

"No Derek ... it's not your fault I can't handle stuff like that without freaking out ... I just ... I just feel like ... like ..." She rubbed her eyes, trying to think of a way she could word her feelings. "I'm not upset ... that we're having a baby ... or that we're building a house ... or that your mother wants to meet me, despite how I acted last night. I just feel like ... we've done it all in the wrong order, you know? The baby, the house, the mother and we haven't even talked about getting married yet which really ironic because it was the first thing I ..." She stopped herself to look up at Derek, who was looking at her in a way he hadn't in a long time.

"I know that we've done this whole ... thing ... in a slightly strange order. But ... we were gonna do it all anyway ... does it matter what order it's in?" He asked, taking her hand in his.

"I guess not ..." She smiled at him.

"It's scary ... I know that you're terrified Meredith, despite what you tell me. But that's okay ... I want to know ... I want to know if you're happy or scared or pissed off, even if it means me standing the OR clipping an aneurism with you ranting because the hospital cafeteria ran out of meat loaf." He grinned as she giggled, resting her head on his shoulder. "We're in this together, okay?"

"Okay ..."

"And I'll ring my mother ... see if I can't put her off for a few more weeks ..." Meredith felt relieved.

"Thank you ..." She lifted her head up to kiss him. Deeper and deeper the kiss got, Meredith ran her hands through his hair and got shivers when Derek slid his hands up her body. They fell backwards against the bed ... only to be interrupted by Izzie.

"Hey Meredith here's your – oh. Wow I'm sorry guys I ... I ... I'll just ..." She stood in the doorway, hands filled with Meredith's daily orange juice and vitamins. She moved around awkwardly, trying to find where to place them. "I'll see you ... later ..." She closed the door again, making Meredith burst into a fit of giggles.

"We should get up." She said, not moving.

"Yeah ... care to join me in the shower?" He grinned, getting up off the bed and holding his hand out to Meredith.

"Oh ... I don't know ..." She mocked, giggling at the same time.

"Oh really?" He said, shocking her by pulling her up off the bed and more or less throwing her over his shoulder.

"DEREK!!" She squealed as he walked into the bathroom, wriggling from his grip. "You'll pay for that Dr Shepard!" She grinned an evil grin, closing the door and locking him in.

--

Meredith and Izzie were strolling around the shopping centre in Seattle; Izzie was desperate to get a new dress as it was her first official date with Alex since the whole George/Ava fiasco. Meredith had only agreed to tag along when she had gone to get dressed one morning in the week only to find her jeans no longer fitted her. 17 weeks pregnant and a small bump had started to show, the need for maternity clothes was something she couldn't avoid.

"Oooh! Come on let's look in!" Izzie squealed as they walked past a large baby chain store.

"Oh Izzie do we have to?" Meredith moaned.

"Yes! You're pregnant and you haven't bought a single thing for the baby yet! You're concentrating too much on the house." True enough, all of Derek and Meredith's spare time went into buying furniture and over-seeing the building work of their house, which was coming along very nicely. But what Izzie didn't know ... what no one knew was that Meredith had bought something for the baby. Only something little, and only something she'd seen in passing on her way to the supermarket one morning. She had stopped off at the mall to pick up a sample of materials Izzie had told her to get so she could start making Meredith's curtains for the new house when she had noticed a small felt teddy bear in the window of a shop. It was cream with big brown sewn eyes and had brown suede palms and feet. She had walked into the shop and picked up the small toy as though it was the most natural thing in the world. She hadn't even shown it to Derek, and kept it in the draw she kept her socks in.

"Fine!" She said, snapping out of the memory, and let Izzie drag her into the shop.

Within 2 minutes of being there, Meredith felt completely over whelmed. Izzie was so over enthusiastic it was sickening, walking past everything she saw and squealing, reminding Meredith of all the things she needed to buy; the bassinet, the cot, the grows, the changing table, the diaper genie, the breast pump, the bottles, the pram, the car seat ... the thought made her head spin slightly.

"Oh Meredith look! They have display bedrooms over here! Let's go look!" Izzie said, smile stretching from ear to ear. Meredith sighed heavily. "What?" Izzie asked, dumbstruck.

"Nothing, you go ... I'll be there in a bit I just ... I just want to look at the baby grows and stuff ..." Meredith lied, plastering a smile onto her face for Izzie's sake.

"Oh ... okay!" And with that, she watched Izzie skip off towards the back of the store. She collapsed herself onto a cluster of small stools where children would try on shoes, dropping the bags of clothes she had already bought by her side.

"Can I help you?" She heard a kind voice say. Meredith looked just behind her to see a middle aged woman who worked in the store.

"Oh no ... sorry I just ... I'm just taking advantage of the empty foot stools."Meredith laughed along with the woman.

"You're friend seems so excited." She said, looking over at Izzie, who was talking to a woman Meredith was guessed was around 7 months pregnant. "She can't be far along ... how many weeks pregnant is she?" The sales assistant smiled back at Meredith.

"Oh she's ... she's not ... not the pregnant one. That'd be me!" She moved her purse away from her stomach to reveal the small bump she had.

"Oh! Oh I just assumed ... sorry dear ..." The woman looked embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it ..."

"How far along are you?"

"17 weeks so like ... just over 4 months." Meredith smiled genuinely this time.

"Are you excited?" The woman looked around, and then sat down next to Meredith.

"Yeah ... yeah I am actually ... kind of ..."

"Not quite got used to the idea yet?"

"That obvious, huh?" Meredith laughed slightly.

"Honey if you worked in a store like this for 27 years you get to know the women who know it's happening, and the ones who don't." Meredith looked at the woman with curiosity. "You'll be okay." She smiled at Meredith and moved back to the counter.

"Oh my god! Meredith! Come and look at this!" Izzie screamed from the opposite end of the store. Meredith sighed and got up.

"Izzie I really don't care ... can we please go?" Meredith said.

"Meredith you have to get all this sort of stuff sorted now while you-"

"Izzie! Please! Just STOP! I don't need you telling me what I have to get and when I have to get it! I'll sort it, but on my own and at my own pace, okay? God, you guys are constantly telling me how glad you are I haven't freaked out! And the reason I haven't freaked out is because I'm dealing with this whole thing in a way that doesn't make me want to kill myself! But when you and George and Lexie shove catalogues of how my baby's room should look under my nose, I kind of go a little crazy. I'm dealing with it, I'll get it done, but not right now. Not, right, now." She said, almost breathing fire at an extremely shocked Izzie, who placed the toy in her hand back into the display cot she had taken it out of. They were pretty much silent the entire ride home. Meredith was just getting out the car when Izzie stopped her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't ... we don't mean to make you feel like that, Meredith. It's just ... this is probably the best thing that could have happened to you. The most ..." she sighed, unsure whether or not to go on. Meredith didn't say anything, which gave Izzie the time to talk, "... the most normal thing ... that's happened to you ... and Derek ... you need normal, Meredith. You know, I know all you think we do is talk about how proud we are, and we are ... proud. But ... we also say how nice it is to see you smiling again. I don't think I've seen you smile like this since ... since you and Derek were last together and happy ... and I'm talking even before Addison." Izzie gave Meredith a small smile, which she couldn't help but return.

"Thank you ... I'm sorry I've been so ... I don't mean to be ... and I'm grateful for all the things you're doing for me, even if I don't seem it." Meredith said, hugging her friend.

"It's okay ... you're allowed to be unreasonable ... you're pregnant so I'll let it slide ..." Izzie grinned.

"I'm pregnant? Really? I never would have guessed!" Meredith giggled, happy she and Izzie had come to an understanding.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so so so so sooo sorry guys! I can't believe it's been nearly two weeks since my last update!! I break up from college for half term soon though so hopefully i'll have more time to write longer chapters!! I want you to no i really appreciate you all reading my fic and i'm so happy that you like it!! I want you all to know have a plot line and i'm dying to get to the good bit but it needs build up! Thanks again! Reviews make my day **

**Don't own it. Never have. Never will ...  
**

"I have a pair of boobs to reconstruct ... would anybody be interested in joining me?" Mark said as he walked into the residents lounge. Cristina rolled her eyes, as did Izzie. George and Alex laughed slightly but carried on getting changed. They were all done for the night and off to Joe's bar, which Meredith was going to as well, despite her not being able to drink anything alcoholic. "Come on ... she's sexy ... Karev? I know you're a one woman man now ..." he winked at Izzie "... this is your chance to get your hands on someone else's boobs!" Mark laughed, as did Alex but surprisingly he continued to change.

"Sloan! That's a patient you can't think about ... getting your leg over!" Izzie said, shaking her head. Meredith looked down at her shoes and swallowed hard, trying to ignore the shivers that ran through her body.

"Grey? Fancy assisting me on a very serious and life changing surgery?" He said.

"No she doesn't, she's coming with us to watch while we get drunk!" Cristina said, pulling her hair from its pony tail. Meredith frowned at her friend.

"Oh come on! Like that's gonna be any fun! Come one Grey, come scrub in! You can't drink! It's only gonna depress you, seeing them drink when the sprog is stopping you from touching the stuff." Meredith looked up at Mark. In truth she agreed with him, seeing her best friends get very drunk when she couldn't. Derek was on call for the night, she reasoned ... maybe she would just ... do the surgery with Mark then catch up the others later?

"Why are you so desperate for one of us to scrub in?" Meredith frowned.

"What? I'm your teacher ... it's my job to ask!" Mark said defensively.

"Mark ..." Meredith said, smirking.

"Okay fine! It's such a simple surgery! I don't need any other doctors in there ... but the nurses are all pissy so ... will you please, please just scrub in?"

The residents laughed at Mark, who looked deeply embarrassed he had just had to admit such a thing.

"Fine, yes, I will scrub in!" Meredith sighed, ignoring the many protests of her friends.

"Meredith! You said you'd come with us!" George said.

"I know but ... but ... I miss tequila so much I think I may just shoot myself if I have to watch you drink it. It'll be like ... like your own personal method of torture!" Meredith moaned, which made Izzie giggle and Cristina roll her eyes.

"Fine, catch up with us if you can. Come on people, George your about to get your ass kicked at darts. I'm buying first round! Let's go!" Alex shouted, clapping and then taking hold of Izzie's hand. Meredith smiled and watched the 4 walk out of the lounge.

"Right, come on Grey, we have boobs to build!"

--

Meredith stood, knocking her knees together, outside the room of an elderly woman who had been suffering from seizures, waiting for Derek. The breast reconstruction had gone very well, and if she was honest, Meredith was glad she'd stayed. She slowly poked her head round the door, hoping she had been sneaky, but Derek saw her. He frowned and shook his head with a silly smile on his face, obviously wondering what on earth she was doing.

"Dr Grey?" He asked, smiling at his patient, and then gesturing at Meredith to come in. Meredith smiled shyly at the elderly woman, who had bright blue eyes that twinkled.

"Hello dear ..." She said in a shaky voice.

"Hi ... sorry to interrupt ..." Meredith said politely, trying as hard as she could to ignore her feelings. She could smell him ... she was standing so close but she knew she couldn't touch him. Not like that. Not in front of a patient. So instead, she again swallowed hard and plastered an innocent smile on her face. The woman's eyes flashed to the small bump just visible through Meredith's scrubs.

"Oh you're pregnant! Oh that's just lovely. Isn't that just lovely Dr Shepard?" She beamed up at Derek.

"Well ... I certainly think so Mrs Cash ..."Derek said, eyeing Meredith in a way that once again, made shivers run up her spine. "Can I help you Dr Grey?"

"Oh no I just ... well ... yeah but its fine I'll just ... wait ..." Meredith said, breathing slowly. Derek frowned at her.

"Mrs Cash, I'm going to send an intern in to do some routine checks, okay?" The woman smiled once more.

"That's just fine Dr Shepard." Derek nodded at her and walked from the room alongside Meredith, extremely curious as to what had gotten in to her. She had seemed very strange all day now he thought about it. He was shocked when she pulled him into the nearest supply closet. "Meredith what's gotten in to you?!" He laughed.

She looked him square in the eye and blurted, "I'm horny. Very very ... very horny. Have been, all day. And it will NOT go away. Mark was talking about boob reconstruction earlier and even THAT got me hot. To be frank, porny thoughts have been running in and out of my head for the past 14 hours and I'm thinking you're the only person I can see to ... get it out of my system." She smirked at him sexily, raising her eyebrow and moving in closer to him.

"Meredith we're in a supply closet ..." He whispered as her face closed in on his.

--

A week had gone by and Derek could very easily say he was exhausted. It appeared Meredith's pregnancy had made her sex drive go into over load and she was all over him every second she had the chance to be. He was resting his chin on his hand, almost falling asleep behind the nurse's station when Meredith wondered up to him.

"Hey! Are you doing anything now?" She smiled. He sighed, thinking she was about to ask him to slip into an on call room with her. Whatever happened to good old fashioned seduction, he wondered.

"Just catching up on some paper work ..." He yawned. She smiled at him, sitting down on the desk next to him.

"Don't worry; I think my libido may finally be getting the hint!" She giggled, running her hand through his hair. Mark came up behind her, slamming a chart down and grinning.

"My god, you two aren't in the presence of a patient and still have your pants on? And they say miracles don't happen."

"Very funny!" Meredith glared, getting up off the desk and grabbing the chart Mark had put down. Just then another chart hit the surface. Meredith looked up to see an incredibly beautiful Mexican woman standing next to Mark. She smiled warmly at the three doctors.

"Hello, mine name's Dr Raous ... I'm looking for Dr Richard Webber?" Her eyes were as black as her hair and the accent rolled off her tongue. Mark was staring at her and nothing else, in awe of this woman standing next to him.

"Yeah his office is just up the stairs and to your left ..." Derek said, too tired to notice what Mark and Meredith both could. "Are you new here?"

"Yes, I'm a neo-natal specialist."

"Hi! I'm Dr Mark Sloan, head of plastic surgery and an ENT specialist." Mark flashed a smile her way, holding out his hand. Derek rolled his eyes, knowing all too well he only ever added the ENT to his introduction whenever he was about to hit on a pretty doctor. Dr Raous shook his hand briefly then looked at Meredith who also took her hand.

"Meredith Grey ..." She smiled.

"Derek Shepard, neurosurgeon." Derek said, also taking her hand.

"Right, I'll try to remember all that." She laughed slightly. "My name is Aurelia."

"I would have bet good money your name was as breath taking as you." Mark said. Derek caught Meredith's eye for a split second, but neither could keep the gaze going for fear of laughing. Aurelia raised her eyebrow.

"Okay ..." She said.

"Do you know Seattle at all? I'd be honoured to give you the scenic tour ..." Mark winked.

"Seriously? I met you round 50 seconds ago and you're hitting on me? What's next, slipping me a business card with your number on it?" She joked.

"Well now you mention it ..." he grinned at her, completely unaware Derek and Meredith were there, extremely amused with what they were seeing.

"And now you're about to ask me out to dinner, right? The kind where I shave my legs and you wear a tie ... afterward we'd go to that little bar across the street. We'd chat, flirt ... you'd tell me about the many lives you've saved and I'd look astounded ... I'd innocently touch your arm, prompting you to tell me all about the amazing apartment you have on the top floor and I'd just BEG you to show me the view?" Aurelia stood with her hand on her hip, a slight smirk on her face as she watched Mark's jaw drop. He was speechless. She leaned in closer to him, going to whisper in his ear, but spoke just loudly enough for Meredith and Derek to hear. "Well Dr Sloan it sounds like a wonderful idea ... the kind I'll definitely try out with my boyfriend ..." And with that she whipped around, her long thick hair following. Meredith and Derek were almost in hysterics as they waved back to her and watched the doctor who had just put Mark in his place wonder up the stairs.

--

Tyler Christian was a good nurse. He was hard working, kind hearted, had a good sense of humour and cunningly new exactly how to get what he wanted. He was a good nurse. He loved working on the surgical floor of Seattle Grace Hospital, he had friends there, friends he was grateful for, and though he wouldn't exactly call them friends, he liked each of the surgeons he got the opportunity to work with. He was sitting in the ER when an elderly lady came wondering over to him. She had thick curly hair, which was a steel grey colour, and kind, warm eyes.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me?" She smiled.

"Certainly Ma'am what with?" he asked politely.

"I was looking for a Dr Derek Shepard?"

"He's in surgery at the moment I'm afraid ... did you have an appointment?"

"Oh no ... I just thought I'd drop by ... Is there anywhere I could wait for him?"

Tyler was intrigued by this woman ... never could he remember since Dr Shepard had started was someone so set on talking to him. "I'm sorry ... do you know him? Personally?" He smiled, hoping he had been polite enough for her to tell him more. Her eyes twinkled as she returned his smile.

--

Meredith was standing at the nurse's station, twiddling her pen between her thumb and fingers, trying once more to ignore the porny thoughts that were entering her head. She had to give Derek a break, the poor man was now more or less just serving her. She had told him herself that morning, that she wasn't as horny today ... but that was now hours ago and her hormones were telling her something much different. She wanted sex. She needed sex.

"Meredith you have the look ... again!" Izzie giggled as she looked at Meredith from the opposite side of the desk.

"Oh god! Do I? Really? I can't help it Izzie! I need sex! I need hot ... dirty ... sweaty sex. Hot, dirty sweaty sex with Derek. Right now!" Meredith proclaimed, slightly louder then she intended to. She smiled at Izzie, frowning slightly when she saw her friend wasn't looking at her, but just behind her shoulder. Meredith turned to see Tyler behind her, and an elderly woman just next to him.

"Hey!" She said cherrfully, hoping beyond hope the woman hadn't heard her shout about wanting hot sweaty sex, and made a point to show her pregnant belly, hoping the woman, if she had heard, would understand. Tyler, strangely enough, looked like Christmas had come early. He ushered the woman towards Meredith.

"This is Dr Meredith Grey ..." And with that he walked off, grinning madly to himself, not daring to move away too far for fear of missing the fireworks.

"Well hello dear ... it's so nice to meet you finally!" The woman exclaimed, bewildering Meredith yet more. "My name's Liz Shepard!" She held her hand out to Meredith, who was having odd flash back of when she had first met Addison ...

"Hi! I'm Addison Shepard ..."

"Shepard?"

"And you must be the woman whose been screwing my husband."

Meredith stared, no ... this could NOT be another wife. "Shepard?" She questioned.

"Derek's mother!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Next chapter guys =] really hope you like! I'm sorry it's taking me so long to upload and when i do it's not much ... exams are very stressful at college lol! **

**Cannot believe the news about Hahn leaving ... or rather Brooke being fired!!!!!! **

**Reviews make me very happy =] don't own it, never have, never will ... if i did there'd be more merder action in season 5 ...  
**

Meredith stared, speechless. Her feet appeared to glue themselves to the floor, her mind too must have stopped working because it wasn't until she felt Izzie move past her she finally snapped out of it.

"Mrs Shepard! It's so nice to meet you ... I'm Izzie, I'm one of Derek's roommates!" Izzie plastered a bright smile on her face and looked back and forth between Meredith and Mrs Shepard. She needed to think fast if she was going to prevent Meredith from freaking out, although she had a feeling it was too late. Mrs Shepard took Izzie's hand briefly then turned to Meredith.

"I don't really want sex with Derek ..." Meredith managed to squeak out, taking the elderly lady's hand. Izzie stared at her, wide eyed, Oh my god, she thought, what the HELL did I just say?! Mrs Shepard looked somewhat amused.

"Well ... okay ... Is my son going to be in surgery long, do you know?"

"Erm ... I don't ... I think ... I ... That's a really good question, actually! I'm gonna ... I'll go find out! For you ... and erm ... I'll be ... I'll be right ... back." Meredith rambled, praying she could get well out of sight before making any more of a fool of herself. Izzie smiled at her and nodded slightly, which Meredith took to mean she would take care of Mrs Shepard while Meredith went in a frantic search for her boyfriend.

---------------

"Dr Grey ... can we help you?" Dr Hahn said abruptly as Meredith stormed in to the wrong OR.

"Oh ... no sorry I just ... do you know what OR Derek's in?" Meredith asked quickly, not really caring she was demanding information from her boss.

"No, I don't know what OR Dr Shepard is in; now get out of mine before I throw you out!" Hahn snapped, causing Meredith to turn and get out of the OR before Hahn killed her with the scalpel in her hand.

Meredith powered through the hospital corridor in search of Derek, when suddenly she thought she hadn't checked the OR with the gallery. "Hi Dr Grey ... I'm just doing charts here ... I wanted to see the surg-" she wasn't sure which of her interns was babbling at her, she didn't bother to look and just ignored them. Walking straight over to the intercom, Meredith stabbed the button with her thumb.

"Derek!" She shouted, she couldn't help it, she was angry. Very, very angry. And she didn't even know why, because obviously Derek had no idea his mother was here. Derek snapped his head up towards the gallery, shocked to see Meredith talk to him like that in the hospital.

"Yes? Dr Grey?!" He asked, frowning at her.

"Ohh no! No! At this moment in time you are NOT my boss!"

"Meredith!" He warned, very aware that every eye in the gallery and OR was now on the couple.

"No, Derek! You have no idea! Do you remember, about a month and a half ago you said to me ... you're pregnant! And if you wanna come and rant in my OR, you can! Well now, is the time I'd like to do that! You also remember during that conversation you promised me your MOTHER wouldn't be coming down any time soon ... well guess who I just ran into!" Meredith was into a full blown rant now, and stopped only briefly to catch her breath. Derek was staring at her in slight horror. "Yeah! That's right! Mommy dear just jumped me in the corridor while I was shouting about our SEX LIFE!" Meredith stopped herself from continuing, staring nowhere but Derek. He looked around the OR, knowing he needed to get out as quickly as possibly or he'd end up back in his trailer for the week. Luckily for Meredith he was half way through closing, and if he was quick about it he could sort the mess out in around 20 minutes time.

"I'm currently closing this man's head up ... can I sort this out in 20 minutes please?" He asked, sounding demanding but Meredith could hear a certain pleading in his voice.

"Fine ... yes ... I'll wait for you by the nurse's station." She couldn't resist adding, "with your mother!"

-----------------

Meredith ran quickly and quietly back to the nurse's station, being sure not to be seen by anybody. She moved over to the nurse's station and ducked down behind the desk before Mrs Shepard could spot her from the waiting area. "Psst! Tyler!" She almost hissed. The nurse looked down and grinned at Meredith. "Look, I won't absolutely destroy you for springing her on me ... if you go and get Cristina ... she's in that room!" She pointed frantically to the room opposite where Mrs Shepard was sitting, chatting away happily to Izzie. "Please! You totally owe me!" Tyler looked down, still smiling but shook his head, moving away from the desk towards the room Cristina was in. Meredith sighed and dropped her head down into her hands. She was defiantly freaking out, no question. She needed her person, she needed to rant ... she couldn't rant at Derek any more then she already had, not only was this whole thing not his fault but she feared if she ranted anymore he'd move back to his trailer for the week. Thoughts were swirling round her mind, why had she shown up now? Now? When she was so horny she'd jump on the chief if he offered anything up ... Ew, she thought ... horny thoughts about the chief? She really was freaking out.

"This had better be good, Meredith Ann Grey!" Cristina frowned down at Meredith.

"You see the woman Izzie is entertaining?"

"Yeah ..."

"It's Derek's mother ... it's my child's grandma ... it's a new fake mommy ... that right there is another freakin' Shepard!!" Cristina's face spread into a wide smile.

"Oh this is brilliant!" She snorted.

"Thank you! I'm so happy you find my misery entertaining!" Meredith growled, swatting Cristina on the legs when Aurelia came wondering over, a bewildered look on her face.

"Meredith? Is this the kind of work residents do in this state? You know in Mexico we had to actually do something." She smiled down at Meredith and stepped over her to get behind the nurse's station. Meredith looked back up to Cristina, who was trying to hear what Mrs Shepard was saying to Izzie.

"You know ... for one moment when she was introducing herself I thought she was gonna tell me she was another wife. Right now I can't decide why I thought that was a bad thing ..." Meredith moaned, leaving Cristina to shake her head and move back towards the room she came from.

"I have pre-ops!" She said briefly before going. Meredith sighed heavily, letting her head fall on the desk she was leaning against.

"What's with the big sigh?" Aurelia asked.

"Not a lot ... just that Derek promised me his mother wouldn't come down and now she's sitting around 20 feet away from me."

"Derek ... Derek? He's the neurosurgeon?"

"Yeah, or stupid brain man ... as I call him sometimes." Aurelia giggled at Meredith and came to sit down with her.

"Is he your husband?" She asked.

"Some day, maybe. Right now we're just being backwards and having a baby first." Aurelia nodded and smiled. "I've never met his mother before." Meredith said sadly. Aurelia looked at Meredith, watching the way her wavy hair fell off her shoulders, watching her green eyes look lovingly down at the bump underneath her scrubs. She hadn't even known this young, pregnant resident a day and she wanted to help her. Aurelia stood up suddenly, knocking Meredith out of her daze.

"Come on! Come with me!" Aurelia said, holding out her hand to Meredith, who took it in curiosity. The pair sneaked past the waiting area quickly to avoid being seen then Meredith followed Aurelia down to the paediatric part of the hospital. She would always tease George these days, knowing full well they both loved coming down to this part of the hospital, and knowing full well neither of them should be there; except now Meredith was pregnant she had an excuse on hand for any questioning doctors. "I'm so sorry I was just on my way for a check up!" And she would giggle and point towards her stomach. George on the other hand, would never get such an opportunity and Meredith would often add; "He's with me!"

Meredith stared at the many beautiful babies that we're lying peacefully behind the glass she and Aurelia were looking through.

"You see this baby?" Aurelia asked, suddenly very serious.

"Yes ... she's adorable." Meredith smiled.

"Yes, she is. Her mother was taken back to prison around 2 hours ago. Normally she would have just given birth there but due to the baby's high blood pressure she had to be air lifted here." Meredith stared at her new friend in shock, wondering where she was going with this. "This little girl ... this, beautiful, incredible, tiny little girl will most likely never see her mother again, because she is in prison for manslaughter. She will never get the chance to find out which of the many possible men in this state her father is. She has 2 sets of grandparents, both she will never know, because she will never know her father, and because her mother's parents have shunned her. And tomorrow social services are coming to pick her up." Meredith felt her heart break a little. She had always said, always believed that the babies she had watched come and go over the years had come into the world fresh and new, and hadn't given anybody the chance to mess them up yet. But this little girl, with her blonde hair as curly as Derek's and her big blue eyes curiously inspecting the ceiling, this beautiful baby had had her life messed up in the second it had even taken her mother to get pregnant. "Meredith, I deal with cases like this every single day. Maybe I won't here ... but in the part of Mexico I worked? Things like this were a regular occurrence." Aurelia moved Meredith away from the babies. "You have a baby growing inside of you, right now. And that baby ... that baby will loved by its mother and father, by its aunties and uncles, by your friends! You have never met Derek's mother before, and you're scared, but I beg you, please don't bring your baby into the world with an atmosphere between the two people your boyfriend most probably loves more than anything else in the world. If your baby has the chance to know who his family is ... let it be."

Meredith looked back down at the precious child Aurelia had told her about. She was right, and Meredith knew it. Derek's mother was a part of all 14 of her grandchildren's lives, and Meredith knew the 15th wouldn't be any different, even if Mrs Shepard didn't get along with its mother for some reason. It was a chance Meredith was just going to have to take ... for the sake of her baby.

-----------------

Aurelia and Meredith were both quiet as they walked back up to the fourth floor. When they reached the nurse's station Meredith did something that shocked even herself ... she gave the new friend she had made a hug.

"Thanks ... you know for ... snapping me out of my ... freaking out ... moment." Meredith stumbled out, making Aurelia laugh.

"You're welcome, Meredith ... heads up, Derek is with the mom." She warned, giving Meredith a slight nudge towards them, followed by a reassuring smile. For a moment Meredith almost let her feet turn her back round the other way and run all the way to Boston ... but she didn't. She stayed strong and walked right over to where Derek and Mrs Shepard were sitting.

"Hi ... sorry about that I got ... I got ..." she was lost for words suddenly ... could she really just admit she had freaked out and sat on the floor behind the nurse's station for half an hour? She looked back round to Aurelia and was struck with an idea. "I got pulled into a gynie case." Okay, evidently, she couldn't admit how scared she was but, at least she had thought of an excuse.

"It's no problem dear, I'm quite used to taking a back seat for my children while they go about their careers." Meredith didn't quite know what to say, she sensed perhaps Derek's mother was slightly bitter about the fact Derek had always told her he had an amazing case to work on every time a thanksgiving or Christmas came around. "So Meredith ... Derek tells me you're now a second year resident?"

"Yeah, nearly third." She answered politely.

"And it's neurology you're interested in?"

"Erm yeah ... yeah I think ... I mean, I do still love general surgery too but I guess I have a knack for neuro." Meredith continued to smile and listened with ease to Derek and his mother chat. She played the perfect part, laughing at anything Derek said, even if it wasn't that funny, complimenting Mrs Shepard on how well she looked for a mother of 4 and grandmother of 14.

"Soon to be 15 dear!" Mrs Shepard laughed, patting Meredith stomach, which would normally make her feel sick with all the cheerful in the air, but she was playing the part, and if she was playing the part, she was laughing when her stomach was patted.

"Anyway, mom, the house plans are really coming along now..." Meredith smiled brightly but was dying inside. She listened to Derek tell his mother all about their dream house with just one thought in her head. Someone kill me, kill me now.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I'm so unbelivably sorry i haven't updated in a few weeks =[ college has been kicking my ass!!!!! It's bad times I tell you! Anyway, i hope you like the next bit and i WILL be updating this weekend as well! =] Reviews make my day ... even if because of my poor absence i don't deserve them !!!!!**

**It takes place about a week after i last updated ... and I have no idea what the address for the trailer is so ... ignore that bit LOL!  
**

Meredith stared down at the blood covering her gloves, feeling the tears sting her eyes. This shouldn't have happened. Silence pressed against her ears and her eyes shifted to look down at the helpless face of the little boy they couldn't save. This shouldn't have happened ... and all at once 6 days of pure stress seemed to hit her.

"Meredith?" She heard someone say. She looked up slowly, realizing everybody was looking at her ... everybody. Hahn, Bailey, Izzie, Cristina ... her eyes moved up to the gallery where Lexie and George were too looking down at her. It was too much ... it was all so much. Meredith turned in one swift movement and ran as fast as her legs would take her. She didn't know where she was going, but standing still didn't seem like the thing to do. She wasn't even aware she was getting into her car until she'd turned the key. The headlights shot on, lighting up an unusually deserted car park and she drove. She drove to the only place she knew was powerful enough to take her mind off the bad week she had had. Derek's mother was ... a mixture of Derek and Nancy ... and Meredith hadn't worked out whether that was good or not. She could be the nicest person in the world, and then turn around and tell Meredith how much it would change when the baby came and they lived alone. Meredith knew she wasn't being intentionally hurtful ... but sometimes her words hurt.

She settled down on the grass and snuggled up inside an old coat Derek had left in her car. The view of their land could always make her forget everything and anything. It had lost some of its charm at the moment because of all the building work going on, but she didn't look at that. She just watched the city go on as usually without her.

"Meredith?" Derek's voice broke the tranquility. She looked around and smiled warmly at him. "What are you doing up here? It's freezing ..." He came and sat down by her.

"That little boy died ..." She said quietly.

"Oh ... I'm sorry ..."

She shook her head and felt a few free tears fall on her cheeks. "He just ... died, Derek ... and we couldn't do anything and he just died ..." A sob escaped her and she dropped her head into her hands, not complaining when Derek pulled her into his arms and kissed her head.

"Are you okay, Meredith? This week ... you've been ... I know my mom can be a lot but she won't be here forever ..." Derek kissed her temple.

"I know ... I'm sorry I've been all ... weird ... this week ... I guess I don't do the whole mom thing ..." Derek laughed. "Weird considering I'll be one in ooh about ... 4 months!"

"Yeah ... and in about 4 months ... that's when you'll do the mom thing ..." He smiled sweetly and Meredith couldn't resist kissing his lips.

"If I loved you any more than I do right now Cristina would disown me ..." She giggled, and he pulled her closer, tickling her. For a while they just sat there, enjoying the view and just being with each other. Derek sighed and got up finally, pulling Meredith with him. "Ooh! Can we take a peak at the house before we go? Please?!" Meredith said excitedly. Derek had been the only one to see what the house looked like because of it being a building site.

"Meredith, it's dangerous! We can't go in there ..." He hesitated.

"Oh stop being such a kill joy! If twenty 200 pound men work in here every single day me and you aren't gonna do any harm!" She giggled, skipping as best she could to the door. Derek shook his head and followed along.

"Fine but only the downstairs!"

They stepped inside, and looked around thoroughly, but it was almost impossible to see in the darkness. From what Meredith could tell it was coming along really nicely. She bit her bottom lip and ran her hands up the ladders that lead upstairs. Derek Immediately shook his head. "NO! Meredith we can't go up there it's not safe!"

"Oh Derek! Where's your sense of adventure! It's not gonna hurt! I just wanna look at the view from our room ... and then I'm done! Promise!" She shook her shoulders and pressed her smiling lips together. She looked so excited and happy for the first time in days, Derek didn't have the heart to stop her ... after all ... she was right about the 200 pound builders ...

"One look! And then we're going!" He said, smiling to himself when she squealed with joy and made her way up the ladder. The floor creaked beneath them as they made their way towards what would eventually be the balcony from their bedroom and suddenly Meredith thought maybe it wasn't such a bright idea them being up there. She put her hand on her stomach protectively and turned back to Derek.

"Maybe this-" she started but her sentence was cut off by a sound that made her heart stop. She watched him fall, only briefly aware she was screaming his name as the floor collapsed beneath him. "DEREK!" She moved quickly but landed her foot too hard and felt the floor beneath her break. Her reaction was instinct as she wrapped her arms around her bump and closed her eyes tight. She felt her body crash to the floor and then ... darkness.

Meredith didn't know how long she had blacked out for. She coughed and sat up slowly, groaning in pain. Her head was throbbing; she brought her hand up to it to feel sticky blood all down the side of her face. She turned slowly to see Derek lying not too far from her. "Derek!" She called frantically, crawling on all fours towards him. "Oh God, Oh God, Oh god ..." she croaked, trying to hold back the sobs. He was lying flat on his back with a pool of blood surrounding his head. His eyes were closed. Pulse was weak ... but it was there, at least. She fumbled for the cell phone in her pocket and pulled off the fleece she was wearing and draped it over him.

"911 Emergency." A woman answered the call quickly.

"Hi! I need, I need an ambulance right away!" She cried.

"Okay ma'am, calm down. Can you tell me what's happened?"

"It's – it's my boyfriend ... he ... we fell ... we're at our house and he fell ... he's lost a lot of blood I think ... I can't see much ... his pulse is weak ..."

"Okay, what's your name honey?" The operator asked kindly.

"Meredith! Meredith Grey." Her lips wobbled as she spoke. "The house ... It's being built! I don't ... Derek he sorted out all the address and everything ... I don't know it!" She panicked.

"Okay, okay! Calm down, Meredith ... I need you to listen to me ... I'm gonna be able to trace your cell but if you can give me any sort of road or clue as to where you are ..."

"W-Windomere ... it's a turning into the woods in Windomere Drive ... It's not far from the docks ..."

"Okay, I know where you mean, there's an ambulance not far from you ... they'll be with you in less than ten minutes, Meredith!" The line went dead as at Meredith's ear.

"Oh ... please be okay ... please be okay ... please be okay ..." She picked up his hand and kissed it gently.

Finally after what felt like 3 years, but really couldn't have been more than 5 minutes, she heard the ambulance siren in the distance. She longed to run out to them, to help them get to Derek quicker, but she couldn't move her body from where it was. "In Here! Help! In Here!" She shouted. Within seconds two paramedics ran in to her with torches. She sighed in relief, thanking god silently in her head. They'd fix him ... they'd have too.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay I know many of you will want to shoot me for not updating in such a long time ... and for that i can only ask you forgive me ... college and work both dragging me down and then xmas came and i completely forgot and then i remembered and figured i'd better start writing again before you all track me down and bring pitch forks ... but then i had writer's block ... okay ... *stops rambling***

**Anyway ... i really hope you like the update! I will try my hardest to get back on track with this! Thanks so much for reading ... :)  
**

Meredith found it difficult to control her sobs in the ambulance. She was shaking everywhere and her head wouldn't stop throbbing. She kept one arm wrapped tightly around her swelling stomach and the other gripped firmly onto Derek's hand. "You need to just fix him ..." was all she would say whenever the paramedic asked if she could check Meredith over. The journey seemed to take hours, but finally they arrived.

"38 year old male, severe trauma to the head after falling through the first floor of a house under construction." The paramedic rushed her words as she climbed out of the back of the ambulance pushing the gurney Derek was lying on. Meredith was anxious, she jumped up as best she could and never once let go of Derek's hand. She didn't think neither Owen nor Bailey recognized it was her at first until she sobbed his name.

"Meredith?" Bailey said, horror struck when she realised who it was lying on the gurney.

"Y-you ... you have to fix him!" Meredith said, choking on her tears. Bailey merely nodded and then let reality snap back into place.

"Right people ... let's do as this woman says!" Bailey ordered. "Karev, stay with her!" She shouted back, and it was only when Meredith felt Alex rub her arm she even realised he was there.

"Come on ..." He said gently and he slowly guided her into the hospital. Before she knew it, Meredith was sitting in the residents lounge. "Meredith ... will you please let me check you over ... the baby ..." Alex said softly.

"It was all my fault ..." Meredith whispered. "We weren't allowed ... I did this to him ..." Meredith looked up into Alex's eyes but he was blurred by thick tears. "Alex, it was all my fault!" And again, she broke down into sobs beyond her control. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, she couldn't do anything but cry. Alex was slightly taken aback at first, but reasoned with himself that she was a good friend to him and at the moment she needed someone. And so he sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. Meredith sobbed onto Alex's shoulder, letting him rock her back and forth.

Alex heard them before he saw them; the other residents laughing about something or other and making their way straight to where Meredith was slowly breaking her own heart. He caught Izzie's eye through the glass before she opened the door. She looked extremely confused.

"Meredith? Oh my god ... Meredith, what's wrong?! Is about that little boy? Honey we couldn't have saved him ..." Izzie's warm words only made Meredith cry harder. Alex shifted slightly so Izzie could take over for him. Cristina rushed to the other side of her.

"Iz ... Iz it's not the little boy ..." Alex started. "It's Shepard ..." Meredith looked up at her friends ... her family. Izzie gasped when she saw the large cut on Meredith's head.

----

About an hour and a half had gone by. Meredith was sitting outside the trauma room Derek was still lying in. No one would let her go in to see him and she was beyond panicking now. Mark and Mrs Shepard were sitting next to her in silence. She still refused to be checked over by anyone, despite everybody trying their hardest to convince her.

"Meredith ..." Bailey came out of the room with scans in her hand.

"Is he awake? Can I see him?" She looked up with pleading eyes.

Bailey sighed and sat down next to her. "No ... not yet I'm sorry honey." Meredith nodded slowly, not taking her eyes off her shoe laces. Mark cleared his throat.

"What's on his scans?"

"He dislocated his shoulder ... but Callie's put that right and she said that it'll heal just fine ... he doesn't have any internal bleeding as far as I can see and Hahn checked him over too. But ... we've found a small bleed in his brain ... and that's why he hasn't woken up yet, okay?" Bailey had tried to say it as lightly as possible. She rubbed Meredith's back.

"So ... so he needs surgery?" She asked.

"Yes ... we have to get him in as soon as possible but ... it seems you aren't listed as Derek's next of kin ... so we can't get you to sign any consent forms ..." Meredith frowned.

"Oh ... okay so can't Mrs Shep-" She started, but Bailey cut her off with a simple shake of the head.

"No ... because Derek's over 21 years old it's gotta be his next of kin ... and ... we had to call Addison."

"Addison?" Meredith said, alarmed.

"It seems Derek didn't change his next of kin from when they got divorced."

Meredith sighed, standing up. "Surely there has to be something that you can do?! I'm carrying his child for god's sake! His mother is RIGHT HERE! Surely one of us can sign these damn forms?!" Tears of anger were spilling down her cheeks, Mark was rocking Mrs Shepard back and forth and Bailey was looking at Meredith with such sorrow it made her angrier.

"And we would do that ... if he was an emergency case but he's stable! He's stable and breathing on his own ... he's just ... unconscious! Now Listen to me ... Addison will be here in 2 hours at the most ... okay? She'll sign the forms and we'll get him straight into theatre but until then ... until then he's gonna be monitored closely. It's not a big bleed ... it's not moving at a fast rate so we have to do this the right way. I wish we could bend the rules, Meredith I do! But ... we don't have any other option. We have to wait."

----

Meredith could hear the clock in the room they had moved Derek too. Finally, they had let her in and she hadn't moved since. Mark had taken Mrs Shepard to get some coffee ... Cristina was taking Derek's vitals and Izzie was watching her like a time bomb just waiting to go off.

"Mer maybe-"

"Don't. Izzie ... I know that I have an unusually large cut on my head. But I'm fine. Okay? I'm fine ... you can check me out when Derek is awake. When I know he's gonna be okay ... okay?" Meredith said with a forceful tone. The truth was, she was terrified that if she got checked out there was every chance Izzie would tell her that her baby was dead. She couldn't tell ... she had never felt the baby kick before, so why would now be any different? If she held off the exam just a while longer ... she could wait until Derek was awake ... then if anything had happened to the baby ... she may not feel so lost ...


	12. Chapter 12

**I figured I wouldn't keep you hanging on too long lol! Hope you like :) reviews make my day!**

"Cristina ... we have to do something!" Izzie said in a hushed whisper outside Derek's room. Addison still hadn't shown up and Meredith was still refusing to get checked over.

"What can we do?! She's not gonna let either of us touch her, Iz!"

"Do you think maybe we should get psyche down here?" Izzie suggested.

"Psyche?! You really think Wyatt will be able to talk her round if we can't do it? If Bailey can't do it? Face it! She's not gonna give up until he's awake!"

"Well we can't just leave her! She's pregnant! And bleeding!" Both residents looked into the room slowly. Meredith was curled up on the chair opposite the bed Derek was lying in. She was biting her thumb nail and not taking her unblinking eyes off him.

"At least she's not crying anymore ..." Cristina reasoned.

"Whatever ... I'm gonna go and talk to Bailey again ... I can't just sit back and watch her like this." Izzie was determined to find someone, anyone to help.

---

"Dr Bailey!" Izzie called, jogging towards her superior, who was doing a consult in the pit.

"What is it? Is it Derek?"

"No ... he's still stable ... It's Meredith ..."

"Is she okay?"

"She still won't let anyone touch her. If we don't do something she could ..." Izzie suddenly went quite, not wanting to say out loud what was running around her mind. "Please ... we have to do something."

"Have you called Dr Raous? She might be able to talk some sense into Mer... If not come back and get me."

"Raous ... right ... thank you!" Izzie ran as fast as her legs would take her to the paediatrics department.

---

Addison Forbes-Montgomery was a level headed woman. She got that life happened at strange times. But it was just after 2 AM and she was tired. She dragged her luggage behind her as she wondered up to the elevator of Seattle Grace Hospital. The chief hadn't exactly been clear as to what he had wanted on the phone ... but he sounded so frantic she had guessed she'd better not tell him she couldn't come. And so, she had jumped on the first flight out and now here she was. Back ... a year on. She wondered briefly if anything had changed again.

She pushed the button for the fourth floor out of instinct, but the noise coming from the nurses' station reached her ears before the doors had opened. She frowned, hurrying out towards the shouting.

"Meredith please just be reasonable! You have to let me examine you! The baby could be hurt ... you could have internal bleeding ..."

Addison was ... alarmed. Izzie, Bailey, Cristina and a woman she didn't recognize were circled around the woman who had broken up her marriage. She looked ... a wreck. There was a large cut on her forehead ... there was dirt on her face and her eyes were swollen from crying so much. It was then Addison's eyes reached the bump appearing under Meredith's clothes. She couldn't rip her eyes away from it ... she didn't notice when Meredith saw her.

"ADDISON!" It was only then that she watched in horror as the young resident ran towards her, pulling her into a fierce hug. "Thank god you're here!"

"Meredith ... wh-what's ... what the HELL is going on?!"

"You didn't tell her?!" Meredith glared at Bailey, who sighed.

"Addison ..." Bailey started, to be interrupted.

"Addison!" Two familiar voices said in unison. She looked up, even more confused than ever to see Mark and Mrs Shepard emerge from around the corner.

"We can get him into surgery now, right Dr Bailey?" Meredith begged.

"If I say yes will you let Aurelia check you out?" She replied sternly. Addison let it all wash over her head. Something was very very wrong. Meredith seemed ... hysterical. She was hurt and panicking and Mrs Shepard was here ... and Mark looked like he'd been crying ...

"WILL SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?!" She eventually yelled over all the noise. Everyone hushed at once. She looked from face to face. "Miranda? Why did the chief call me?"

Bailey sighed again. "It's Derek." Addison felt her face drain. What had happened? "There was an accident ... he needs surgery ... we had to call because you're still listed as his next of kin ... we need your consent because he's still not conscious ..."

"Oh my god ... is he ... is he okay?" She said quietly.

"He will be ... when we get him into an OR ... so if you can sign the forms Cristina can wheel him down right now." All Addison could do was nod, which seemed to send everyone back into a frenzy. Cristina and Izzie moved like a shot towards a room she could only assume was Derek's. Bailey rushed off to collect the papers, and Meredith, Mark and Mrs Shepard all moved to hug Addison in thanks. The doctor she didn't know stood still, not once taking her eyes off Meredith.

"Thank you for coming Addison ..." Mrs Shepard said.

"Of course ..." She let the older woman talk at her but she wasn't paying attention. Meredith was now staring at a bed being wheeled in their direction. Everyone went silent as Cristina and Izzie wheeled the bed towards the elevator Addison had just emerged from.

"He'll be okay ... I'll come and give you an update every half an hour ... okay?" Meredith didn't do anything to acknowledge Izzie's words.

"Meredith ..." Mark started.

"I said they can look me over when he's awake." Meredith said, sitting herself down on a waiting chair. A pager went off.

"Damn ... that's me ... Miranda ... make sure someone check's her over ... and soon ... okay?" The new doctor said in a hushed whisper and hurried off to her department.

"Miranda ... what the hell's happened?" Addison finally asked. Bailey motioned her away from Meredith.

"When ... when Meredith found out she was pregnant they started to build a house on the land that Derek brought when he moved out here ... it's still a building site, pretty much ... and I don't think Meredith goes up there very much because Derek lives with her and not in the trailer ..."

"So ... how do we jump from Meredith not going to see a house to Derek lying on a gurney?"

"Last week ... when Mrs Shepard showed up ... Meredith started getting slightly ... stressed. She was freaking out no doubt about it. And ... earlier tonight we lost a little boy ... I think she must have just snapped. I haven't been able to get much out of her but as far as I can tell she drove to the house, Derek followed her, she asked to see the upstairs and the floor fell beneath them."

"Oh my god ..."

"But she won't let anybody examine her until she knows he's okay ... we haven't even been able to suture that cut because whenever anybody goes near her she flips out." Addison looked behind her shoulder to watch Meredith. "Addison ... she won't let anyone check the baby's okay ..." It was those words which made Addison react to the situation. She moved swiftly over to Meredith, and sat down beside her.

"Meredith ... how far along are you?"

"Addison ..."

"Answer the question ... how far?"

"19 weeks ..." She mumbled.

"Right ... so ... you know all the odds of losing a baby at this stage."

"Addison ..."

"Just let me find a heartbeat ... I won't touch the cut on your head if you don't want me to ... but you and I both know that if Derek were awake he'd be yelling at you for not getting checked over sooner." Meredith looked up at Addison, thick tears forming on the brim of her eyes. She nodded slowly. "Okay ..." Addison smiled and took hold of Meredith's hand, nodding to Bailey as she walked past her slowly.

---

Meredith watched Addison intently as she messed around with the ultra-sound she was about to do. She looked down at her swollen tummy.

"Okay ... this may feel a little cold ..."

"Addison ..." She looked up into Addison's eyes. "I'm scared."

"I know ... but it'll be over in a second ..."

"What do I do if my baby's dead?" Meredith felt her bottom lip quiver.

Addison sighed, looking at Meredith with sorrow in her eyes. "I don't know how to answer that one, Mer ... do you want to hold my hand?" She held out her hand and wasn't surprised when Meredith grasped it tightly. She slowly rolled the ultra sound across Meredith's stomach, concentrating on the screen before her. She smiled, letting a sigh of relief go when a heat beat filled the room. Meredith couldn't see the screen, but started sobbing in sheer joy. Her baby was alive. Addison felt her eyes sting with tears as she watched the woman before her cry ... she smiled at the screen, watching the baby sucking its thumb contently. She could see the sex, but decided not to say anything. "Now ... will you let me stitch that cut?" Addison laughed, to which Meredith smiled and nodded.

---

A few hours later Meredith was sitting in Derek's room alone. Addison and Mrs Shepard had gone for coffee, it was pushing half past five and both had been awake all night. Meredith sat, staring at the empty space where the bed should have been in front of her. Izzie hadn't been back to her in just over 40 minutes ... everything had been going okay. She rubbed her tummy lightly, not terrified to do so anymore. Her face was clean, her cut was sutured and her baby was alive. All she needed now was to have Derek in front of her and she'd feel like she could relax again.

"Meredith?" Izzie's voice hit her ears, making her head snap up in panic. Izzie's face stretched into a wide smile as she helped pull Derek's gurney back into the room. "It went very well ... he should be awake before you know it ..." Meredith sighed with relief and let her head drop to her hands. Izzie pulled her into a hug. "Oh ... and I'm sorry but ... we had to shave his hair off ..." Meredith laughed despite herself. She moved over to him ... he actually looked quite peaceful if she blocked out the tubes that seemed to leave and enter his body every which way. She stroked his check gently, but jumped back at the same time. Her hand moved to her stomach.

"Mere? You okay?" Izzie asked, frowning. Meredith looked up in astonishment.

"He kicked! He's kicking! He's never done that before!" Izzie broke into a smile and rushed to feel Meredith's stomach. She beamed up at her friend. Meredith very carefully took hold of Derek's hand, and placed it on her tummy. "He's kicking, Derek ... our baby is kicking ..."


	13. Chapter 13

Meredith felt her stinging eyes droop slightly as she was curled up in the chair opposite Derek's hospital bed. He still wasn't awake after his surgery.

"Meredith ... honey, what are you still doing here? Why don't you go and get some sleep? Something to eat, maybe?" Meredith smiled at Mrs Shepard, who was stroking her son's hand.

"No ... I'm fine, really. I just ... I'm just gonna stay until he wakes up." Mrs Shepard looked at her sceptically. "I'm fine ..."

"You can't get enough of that word, huh?" She sighed, rubbing her eyes when she realised she would get nowhere with the young woman. "Well okay then ... I think I'm gon-" She was cut off by a low groan from her son. Meredith snapped her head in Derek's direction and jumped up from her chair.

"Derek?" She took hold of his hand. "Derek? Can you hear me?" She felt her tummy fill with butterflies. Mrs Shepard looked panicked, and rushed into the hall to call another doctor.

"Meredith?" His voice was almost in audible. She felt her eyes release yet more tears, but she laughed in relief.

"Yeah ... yeah it's me! I'm here ... I'm here and you're okay ..." She closed her eyes tight. "You're okay." He cleared his throat and opened his eyes slowly. "Don't try to move." Meredith warned.

"What happened? I ... I can't remember ... we ... we went upstairs ... and ... I can't remember." He seemed frustrated with himself. Before she could answer a horde of their friends rushed in. It seems Mrs Shepard had spread news of his awakening fast because there was an endless stream of people who followed her in. Addison, Mark, Izzie, Cristina, the chief, Alex and Aurelia all beamed at their colleague, who looked extremely confused. Bailey pushed her way through the crowd.

"Alright people, you can all come and see Dr Shepard later ... he's a patient and Dr Yang and Stevens have gotta do their post op reports so ... everybody out!" They all looked disappointed but left the room slowly. Meredith nodded towards her friends, kissing Derek's hand. "How're you feeling?" Bailey asked.

"Like I've been kicked in the head." He looked back towards Meredith, noticing the cut on her forehead, along with the slight bruise that had started to form there. "You're hurt ... are you okay?"

Meredith gawped at him. Only Derek Shepard could have come through brain surgery and asked how SHE was! "What happened?" His voice interrupted her train of thought. She swallowed. I forced you to go on an unstable building site and you nearly died ...

"Erh ... the floor ... it fell through ... we ... we went upstairs and the floor fell through." She was very aware of all the eyes in the room burning on her. "But it's okay ... it's okay and you're okay ... we're all ... okay!" She tried to smile, but bright and shiny had never really been her thing.

At that moment, Bailey's pager went off. She shook her head. "Trauma ... Meredith tell Addison to come and say bye to me before she goes back to L.A ... I'll come back and check on you later, Derek." And with that she rushed off.

"Did she just say Addison? As in ... my ex wife?" He asked, perplexed as Izzie and Cristina poked and prodded him.

"Yeah ... you never changed her from your next of kin when you broke up ... she had to sign your surgery consent forms ..."

"I what? Oh god ... I'm sorry Mere ..." he sighed at himself.

"It's fine ... actually she proved a calming person to have around." The pair were silent for a minute when a sudden thought occurred to Meredith. "Oh ... erm ... Derek?" She said cautiously.

"Yeah?"

"Erm ... they ... they shaved your hair off."

-

5 weeks had passed since the accident, Meredith was a fully fledged 6 months pregnant and Derek had hereby banned her from the trailer, land and house until it was safe to go. Mrs Shepard and Addison were back in New York and L.A and all seemed to be getting back on track. Derek had been cleared to perform surgeries again the day before and was in popular demand at the hospital. Meredith was worried he may over do it, but he had repeatedly assured her he was fine. The worry never left her though, because she knew how many times she used the word 'fine', she was apprehensive to believe him. The slightest headache he got she was searching in textbooks and the internet for any explanation, Derek thought she had become extremely neurotic.

"I am not being neurotic! I'm ... I'm taking precaution! To you! And your brain!" She had said stubbornly. Even so, Derek had become slightly concerned for her ... since the accident she had been jumpy at any loud noise and overly panicked at any bad situation. She constantly seemed agitated and questioned everything he did. But she was 6 months pregnant, he reasoned, her hormones were probably in overload ... it would pass ... eventually ... he hoped.

-

"I'm going now, Mer ..." Derek rushed into the kitchen, grabbing a piece of toast off her plate. "I'll call you later ..." He kissed her lips quickly and made for the door. He was running late for a surgery.

"I love you!" She shouted after him, smiling as she heard him yell it back. Ever since the accident she had said it to him whenever she had the chance, feeling like something terrible would happen if she didn't. She flicked through a catalogue of things she would need to buy before the baby was born, the accident had made it apparent to Meredith they weren't going to be in the house by the time she gave birth, so they had started to set up Alex's old room ready for the baby, since he'd moved into Izzie's room as a compromise. "You okay?" Izzie smiled, breaking Meredith rambling mind.

"Yeah ... I was just looking at baby things ..." She mumbled, closing the book, strangely embarrassed. Izzie smiled warmly at her friend.

"Did you hear about Mark?" She sniggered. Meredith frowned.

"No ... why, what's he done now?"

"Bailey caught him and Dr Raous going at it in a scrub room!" Izzie started to laugh.

"What!?" Meredith said, letting her jaw drop. "Aurelia HATES Mark! Or ... at least she did last time I checked!" Izzie suddenly slowed her laughing down and turned towards the sink.

"Yeah ... well ... you've had other things to think of. You've had a lot on your mind, Mer."

"So ... what did Bailey do? How long has it even been going on?! I thought she had a boyfriend?"

"No they broke up a while back from what she told me ... and from what I can gather, Mark's pretty crazy about her ..." Meredith nodded, taking it all in. Had she been so self obsessed over the past month she'd missed something that major?

"Have you and Derek thought of any names yet?" Izzie asked, changing the subject.

"Erh ... Derek has ... not any girl's names cause he's so convinced it's a boy ..." She smiled. "... It hasn't really occurred to me to think that far ahead really ..."

"Really? What's he come up with?"

"Christopher ... cause that's his middle name ... James ... Michael ... Cameron ... he also said Derek but I put my foot down." She giggled. Just then both Izzie and Meredith's pagers went off. It was their day off, so they knew something big must have happened. "911 trauma ... what do you thinks' happened?"

"I'm not sure ..." Izzie frowned, wandering into the lounge to turn the television on. "Oh wow." She breathed slowly, watching the terror on the screen in front of them. "Oh those poor people ..." Izzie shook her head.

"Yeah ...come on, we have to get going."

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